Category Archives: Remembering

Love in Black and White

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This weekend Nelson’s cousin Luke invited us to come to his home for the weekend. As we drove the 80 miles there, Nelson asked me to read aloud an email we’d received yesterday. It was written by Kim, who is married to Luke’s brother Andrew…another cousin of Nelson.

Kim said she was representing Andrew with her words, since he couldn’t put his feelings for Nelson into writing. The result is a tribute to the friendship these two cousins have. It’s love in black and white. Nelson and Ann Sophie had read Kim’s email earlier in the day, but as we drove along the highway, Nelson asked me to read it again, out loud. “It was just so good,” he said.

So here it is, written by Andrew’s wife Kim:

I don’t really know Nelson, but I know Nelson-stories and know that if you don’t have a Nelson story, you probably want one. I have had the split-spray from Andrew’s laugh hit me in the face as he recalls the time he and Nelson got stopped by the police late one night in Hawaii.

I have seen cousins cuddled in their beds listening to Luke tell a “Nel and Dod tale,” and I’ve heard Nelson himself recount memories that make you wish they were yours. Like all good story owners, he is easy to listen to.

Andrew loves Nelson. Many times he has told me (sometimes even with a little excitement) that if things ever go south, Nelson is the one he wants to be with. He tells me Nelson has street smarts, common sense, rationality, capability, and then he says, jokingly, “You know, like me.”

This was intriguing to me. Andrew is the most capable person I know. In my eyes he can do anything. I remember once when we were newly married, I tried to hem a pair of curtains that did indeed go south. Andrew replaced the fabric and hemmed them himself. Is he really telling me there is an Andrew 2.0, or did I marry Nelson 2.0?

Once I sized Nelson up at the beach. Andrew and I were getting ready for a bonfire, and Nelson and Ann Sophie were with us. Usually when I get to the beach with company, we grab our chairs and take a seat. Andrew then hauls the wood down, digs the pit, gathers brush, and starts the fire.

This time, as Andrew was bringing the wood down, Nelson immediately began to dig the pit. Once he finished that, he went and hunted sticks for kindling. Then he went back and helped Andrew carry more wood. He didn’t sit down once. Like Andrew, he was a doer.

While he was doing all this, I was telling Ann Sophie, “Listen. If the world ends, Andrew already told me he’s going to find Nelson and the two of them are going to save the world.” I told her that any time I compliment Andrew, he replies, “But have you met Nelson?”

(….conclusion tomorrow)

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Long Ago and Far Away

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Today’s blog includes something special that’s far away from cancer, hospitals, and medicines. As Nelson adjusts to being home from the hospital, we need a break from all things cancer, and maybe you do, too. So…

When Nelson was ten years old, he became a published author by writing a column for a booklet put together by a group of church moms who all had preschool children. The publication was called “The Crib Sheet,” and Nelson’s submission was for a regular column, “Children of the Heavenly Father.”

In 1983, this is what he wrote:

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My name is Nelson Hamilton Nyman. I am ten years old. I would like to write why I like having brothers and a sister. {Louisa and Birgitta had not yet been born.}

 

I like Lars, my brother, because he is only two years younger than me. He is very agreeable and loving. He is my best friend, and he will always be there, even when all my other friends move away. We can talk privately in bed, and talk about anything we want.

I like my sister Linnea because she likes me and thinks I’m pretty neat. She looks up to me.

I like Klaus because he is someone to play with when Lars is gone. He is a real nice boy, also.

Hans is the youngest of all. He is nice to talk to when I need someone to smile at and talk to. It is great to have them, because I have someone to play with most all the time. I am the first born child in the family, and that means that I have a lot of responsibility, because all my brothers look up to me and do what I do.

But someone who is an only child, they have to use the TV for a friend, and sometimes his or her parents are busy and don’t have time to play with them. There are times when I wish I was an only child. Like when everyone is crowded around the TV and I have the worst spot in the room. And like when Mom is busy with the other brother’s homework, and I need help, too.

But God wanted me to be in this family, and that is why I am here. And I know God is glad that I am happy with the life he gave me. The End

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I’ve enjoyed remembering back when Nelson was ten, and I thank God for those happy, busy days. But more than that, I’ve thought about Nelson’s last sentence in regard to what’s happening these days. Back then he wrote, “I am happy with the life [God] gave me.”

But I’m wondering–in light of everything–is that even possible today? Actually, I think I already know what Nelson’s answer would be, 39 years later:

“What is impossible with men is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

To Be Understood

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Toddlers fascinate me. Children between the ages of one and three can be more fun to watch than a good movie. As they begin to walk, explore, and taste new foods, they do it all with captivating charm. But my favorite is to recognize their first bits of language, parroting what they’ve heard while trying to form words their tongues haven’t tried before.

Little by little they begin to put words into sentences. “My do it. That mine. Me want that.”

A few years ago, I remember asking one of my toddler grands a question. “Emerald, did mommy fix your pretty hair today?”

Her response was, “I think it is.”

Close.

But I understood what she meant, and that was good enough.

The same is often true of our conversations with God. He might say, “Will you do what I’m asking?”

And I might answer, “I think it is.”

What do I mean? Maybe it’s, Yes, I’ll do it, or Yes, but maybe later, or Yes, but not in the way you’re asking.

No matter how I answer, God knows what I mean. In a sense, that’s good, because all of us long to be understood. But does it go both ways? How good am I at understanding him?

I remember with Emerald that as she first learned to talk, I often failed to understand her. That produced frustration in both of us. Eventually I learned to say, “Show me.” She would take my hand and lead me to the subject of her words, and that helped.

It’s interesting to note how important words are to God. One of Jesus’ names is the Word. But amazingly, he uses words much like we do – although each of his words packs a power ours never could. Because of that, we ought to pay close attention to every word he says and try our best to understand him — and respond appropriately.

Toddlers eventually learn to talk so everyone can understand. No more guessing. I do confess, though, that sometimes God’s words to me can still be confusing. When they are, my best response is to figuratively take his hand and say, “Show me.” And he will.

“As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.” (Luke 6:47)