Category Archives: Learning from our past

Sneak Peek #9

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) was blessed with three children in less than four years, and I took for granted that we could have more babies anytime we wanted. But the next pregnancy ended in miscarriage. And the one after that too. I wondered if three children were all we were meant to have.

Six years later, though, Andrew came along. This pregnancy threatened to miscarry also, but he finally arrived, safe and sound, and my joy knew no bounds. As I gazed at his freshly scrubbed newborn face, I was overcome with wonder at how this could be. I’d had two miscarriages followed by an endangered pregnancy, yet here he was, in my arms.

The everyday noises of the hospital environment faded into the background as I took in the wonder of this brand new child, a gift of incalculable worth. And at that moment Teacher-God taught me an important lesson I’ve not forgotten. Using my baby as His visual aid, He said, “Yes, you’re holding a miracle, but don’t get lost in the wonder of this particular baby.

“Every baby is a miracle. My miracle. Though your first three came easily, don’t ever forget that each child is a wonder.”

I’ve thought of that moment hundreds of times, learning to apply the lesson to each of my seven children. But that’s not all. God wanted me to see that He meant it for everyone else’s children too. No child is unwanted by Him, and every life is His miracle. Each one is equally valuable to Him, and He wanted me to view all children in that way.

 

SIDEBAR: PRINCIPLES TO PASS ALONG

  • Knowing and loving God trumps everything else.
  • God’s Word is life’s trustworthy guide book.
  • People are more important than things.
  • Children are gifts from God.
  • No one can out-give God.
  • Count your blessings every day.
  • Love without counting the cost.

Sneak Peeks, THRIVE AND SURVIVE

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Several months ago, I blogged about my sister Mary and I writing a book for mothers of children from birth to age five. Though it took more than a decade to finish our project, God graciously allowed us the time we needed—despite Mary’s terminal cancer. 

Our planning and writing was a stop-start process that included endless interruptions but also the happiness of working together in the year before she went to heaven. And now, at last, the end-product is about to launch. It’s titled Thrive and Survive, Zero to Five, with subtitle, “2 sisters, 14 children and what we wish we’d known from the beginning.”

Mary was the one who brought structure to our ideas by outlining the book and creating the Table of Contents. She also wrote 58 sidebars that are sprinkled throughout—bullet-point extras not covered in the text.

The next series of blog posts on this site will offer sneak peeks into the content of Thrive and Survive, keyed to Mary’s sidebars. Then, come the end of August, the book should be available through Amazon and other sources.

Arriving at this point is deeply satisfying—and I hope Mary knows all about it. Her wisdom is laced through the book, and both of us share mothering  fails as well as successes. Our hope has always been that new moms won’t have to make the mistakes we did, and our prayer is that they will truly thrive in their efforts to do the most important job on the planet.  

“May she who gave you birth be happy.” (Proverbs 23:25 NLT)

Taught by a Child

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After several weeks of traveling, I’m thankful to be home, though I’ll be packing my suitcase again soon. Since “my people” are always waiting at the other end of each trip, the motivation to go-go-go is strong.

Recently granddaughter Emerald’s parents let me take her on a flight to Florida where daughter Linnea, her husband Adam, and their six children live. Baby May was born in January, so our trip was a chance to see how she’d grown and to catch up with all the others. It would also be a chance for Emerald to spend time with half of her faraway cousins.

Two words describe our week there: happy hubbub.

Though monitoring seven children ages ten and under is hard work, it borders on entertainment. Without demanding too much of us, the kids moved through each day in a joyful pack.

 

There were plenty of messes, most of them accompanied by high volume, but the cousins came up with one play-plan after another — stringing them together like beads on a pretty necklace.  

On the 7th day, however, something unexpected happened. As we all headed outdoors to watch a parade of skate boards, scooters, and bouncy balls, Emerald came to us with tears in her eyes.

She sat on my lap, sobbing out the details. “I miss my mommy and daddy.” Linnea and I reminded her that our flight home was the very next day, not too many hours from then. Soon after that she recovered.

Later, though, at bedtime, her misty eyes returned. I was bouncing a fussy baby May when Emerald came alongside in search of reassurance. “When are we gonna see my mommy and daddy again?”

She climbed up next to me and looked at the baby, who was crying, too. I recited our flight plan again, but her response was off-topic. While wiping her eyes and studying May’s frown-y face, her own face brightened. “I know!” she said. “The pacifier!”

 

She jumped down and ran to find it with only one thing on her mind: helping the baby. Her own sad thoughts had evaporated.

How true that is for all of us. If we dwell on the parts of our lives that aren’t going well, our troubles stick with us. If we’re willing to tend to the difficulties of another, our problems shrink – or disappear altogether.

God was the one who thought this up when he told us to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). If we follow his instruction, both parties are uplifted by the actions of the one.

After a happy plane ride the next day, Emerald finally connected with her mommy and daddy in a cheerful reunion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’d forgotten her tears, but I hadn’t. By her example, this old grandma had been challenged to do more for others. And just as God says, if we give to someone else, he’ll give to us.

“Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.” (Luke 6:38)