Life Wisdom

Mentoring programs are big nowadays, but they’ve existed since ancient times. Elijah mentored Elisha. Moses mentored Joshua. Naomi mentored Ruth. Paul mentored Timothy. And of course Jesus mentored his 12 disciples.

I’ve had several impactful mentors through the years, my parents among them. But the one who walked me through my youthful immaturities and stuck with me until she died at 92 was Aunt Joyce (married to my Dad’s brother). She let me live with her family three different summers in the 1960’s, gently counseling, instructing, and (yes) chiding me as needed.

My respect for her grew as I aged and took on more common characteristics with her: marriage, motherhood, and other adult ups and downs. Aunt Joyce never preached. Instead she coaxed me into new ways of thinking for myself. She shared examples from her own life and was careful to include failures as well as successes. The fact that she would disclose her personal struggles to me always felt like a gift.

Aunt Joyce never labeled herself as a mentor, and it wasn’t until we’d been “working together” for years that I realized I was her mentoree. She had others, too, and in her later years complete strangers approached her through church contacts, requesting mentoring. She never turned them away and viewed each relationship as a holy privilege.

One of the reasons Aunt Joyce was an effective tutor was that she never said, “You should… do this or that.” Instead she’d say, “Here’s something you might want to try,” or “I found this approach worked for me in similar circumstances.” She made it seem like the two of us were in it together, a team, even equal at times, though I was always the one getting the benefits. But if my steady stream of questions and needs drained her, she never let on.

Of course the ultimate mentor is God, and he’s willing to partner with any of us desiring to be his mentorees. As with all good mentors, though, he leaves it up to us to take advantage of it.

Adam and Eve had it made with their daily mentoring sessions in the cool of each Eden evening. But despite their Mentor’s flawless guidance, they only agreed with 90% of it. The 10% they tossed aside made a radical difference in their quality of life. We can contradict what our mentors tell us, ignore their counsel, or follow their advice and watch our lives change for the better.

Aunt Joyce lived a long, fruitful life and was a valuable mentor for one reason: her advice was always right-on. That’s because it came down to her from her own mentor, God. Since he was her foundational source, she could give an opinion with confidence.

I tried to follow her example in lots of ways, but the one she most hoped I would emulate was looking to God as the ultimate Mentor… exactly like she did.

“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4)

4 thoughts on “Life Wisdom

  1. She was a marvellous person along with uncle Edward.I’m so glad I got to introduce them to little Julia who took her first steps at 10 month in her ” Glass chamber” as she called it;-) Always gentle ways of letting you know how to deal with things. Still keep a picture of them on my fridge actually. Great post! Loved her dearly.

  2. Thank you for the mentoring you are doing through this blog, Margaret, and will be doing through your book.

  3. I so totally agree with the above comments; your Aunt Joyce’s method has become mine, too, in my latter years. While the ‘voice of experience’ is good to hear, one doesn’t feel as tho they are being ‘hammered’ and leaves room for making choices (hopefully wise ones) and untimately – leading to a good outcome of the subject…..and when God is the ‘steering-wheel’…..good memories are made.
    God bless you…..a VERY GOOD mentor to the world!