Nate didn’t follow my blog. It wasn’t that he didn’t have an interest. Even before we learned of his cancer, I’d written specifically about him and thought he’d want to know what was going out onto the World Wide Web with his name on it. So one day in August, after I’d been posting blogs for a couple of months, I said, “Would you like to read a few of my blogs? Sometimes you’re the star of the show.”
We went to the family computer, and I brought up the post about him bringing me flowers (8/14/09), knowing he’d enjoy the compliment.
“In this one I’m bragging about you being a good husband,” I told him, but he had speed-read it and was on to the next entry. He read three and then got called away.
A week later I offered to print out a few more posts to read in his nightly relaxing time in the tub. He accepted the pages, but I’m not sure he ever read them. The New York Times and Wall Street Journal held more interest.
After cancer barged into our lives, the two of us spent every evening on our king size bed. Nate was desperate to get the pressure off his painful back and was exhausted from radiation. I sat with a laptop, reading emails and every blog comment out loud, many written directly to him. About then he asked about the blog again.
“People are commenting about it. Can you read me what you’re writing?”
Before I got to the end, he was asleep. I felt almost like I was reading a bedtime story to one of the children. Several more times he asked me to read the day’s blog, which I always did, but each time he’d be in dreamland before I got to the end. And so the days ticked off, and blog posts increased in intensity.
Sometimes as I wrote, I wondered if the words were too descriptive or the messages too frank. What if Nate asked me to read this one to him? Or that one? Would it be too much for him to bear? But as his physical challenges escalated, his interest in the blog waned, which was just as well.
The blog became a lifeline between our family and compassionate readers who had an interest in Nate’s plight. Without that avenue of communication, we couldn’t have kept up with phone calls, emails and visitors. Blogging streamlined contact with others while letting us spend time with Nate, and although distance separated most of us, the blog knit us together in a tight “small group.”
The blog would never have come to be if it hadn’t been for Adam and Linnea. When I expressed frustration in trying to market articles to publishers, she said, “Why don’t you start a blog, Mom? Just write and put it out there for God to use in whatever way he wants.”
I didn’t know the first thing about it, but when they visited during the summer, Linnea was already blogging (www.KissYourMiracle.com) and Adam offered to set one up for me. I remember the three of us sitting at the dining table talking about a name. I wanted the site to encourage anyone who was going through a difficult time and was delighted that “GettingThroughThis.com” was still available.
Looking back, I see how God was working. He planted the idea, named the site and put it all in place before Nate’s cancer hit. The best surprise, though, was the communication that traveled backwards from readers to writer. An avalanche of support, care, love and prayer left me shaking my head in surprise and wonder, feeling upheld by others throughout our ordeal.
Thank you, beyond what any blog-words could ever say.
“Praise the Lord. Praise God our Savior! For each day He carries us in His arms.” (Psalm 68:19)
”Even to your old age I [the Lord] will be the same, and even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you, and I will bear you, and I will deliver you.” (Isaiah 46:4)