God both gives and takes away.
Will I hold tight on take-away day?
I choose my plan instead of God’s;
It’s blessing-suicide, Christian fraud.
My thoughtful choice is often me,
Though Scripture details history
That tracks God’s ownership of all,
Unbridled power at his call.
Stubborn, prideful, dare I be?
It’s filthy sin. God would agree.
So what’s to do? Is there no hope?
I’m at the end of my frayed rope.
The only plan that yields success
And promises to clean this mess
Is stopping short and kneeling down,
Before my own sin makes me drown.
I crumble, cry and want just him.
I get it now. My mind’s not dim.
He gives and takes for just one purpose,
For our good, and not to hurt us.
Life on earth is one big test,
Losses, gains, my sins confessed.
I long to learn to go God’s way,
To make no plans by what I say.
God’s every move is made with flare.
I’m awed and can’t do more than stare.
When I relinquish my control,
He puts his peace inside my soul.
“Oh Father, let me try again
To be your daughter, be your friend.
I want you to be pleased with me
But know that this can never be…
Until I take a step you’ll show
Without demanding that I know
The total trip and where it’s going.
It’s yours alone to do that showing.
Remind me often, awesome Lord,
That you’re in charge. And I’ll lean toward
That one small step you let me see.
I give back all that you gave me.
My stress, my angst, my fear – they’re yours.
Please take those, too. My heart just soars,
As eagerly I wait and look
For signs of you. I’ll read your book.
I offer up this psalm today
And want to try to walk your way,
Surrendering my plans, my ways,
And walking your path all my days.