As my children continue to weigh in on how they’re missing their father, below are a few thoughts from our youngest. Although Birgitta is 22 now, she was still a teenager when her father died, and because of that she’s grieved in a way different from the other six. Not knowing anyone else her age whose father had died made for a unique sense of isolation as she tried to adjust.
Here is her response to my recent inquiry about the 3rd anniversary of Nate’s death:
Hi, Midge,
Thanks for your email. I appreciate your sensitivity to us and how we’re dealing with Papa’s death, even 3 years later.
I think my grieving has progressed from dwelling on regrets and loss to appreciating the man Papa was and all the blessings he left us with. Of course there are still sad, difficult days, and I always think of November 3rd as one of them.
Papa feels especially distant this year, and I think my having a baby has been a big part of that. My whole life has been reshaped by Emerald, and he has been gone since long before her arrival. I think this is a very difficult and lasting consequence of losing a loved one. I don’t, however, want to discount his presence in my heart and mind as I’ve gone through and continue to experience life-changing moments.
I want to find a healthy balance between living in a world without Papa’s physical presence while carrying him with me in other ways. I think Papa’s absence has also led me to seek out a father/daughter relationship with God. And that is a continual process just like dealing with Papa’s absence is. I also think it has made me more aware and appreciative of all the relationships in my life. There’s a lot to be thankful for.
As you said, God has blessed our family exponentially. And He will continue to! Love you, Midge.
Love, Britt
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God deals with every individual one-on-one, because every set of circumstances and responses is unique. I’m especially thankful for this quality in the Lord, since grieving is such a personal thing with each person requiring a different form of tender help from him.
Hearing from my children as we begin another year without Nate has been a comfort to me, especially seeing how God has partnered with them along the bumpy way. As our heavenly Father steadily assures us through his Word, He is very near.
“[God] is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist.” (Acts 17:27-28)
Bergitta knows how to express herself so beautifully – perhaps she should write a book about her experience of having Emerald. I’m sure other young women would be grateful.
Such a beautiful mother-daughter photo. The blessings of God is a glowing aura around you both.
Birgitta, what a beautiful testimony you are ~ ~ ~ both in picture and written forms. Thank you, for letting others see Jesus in YOU!
I have to concur with TLC’s comment on the photo….so very beautiful !
What a heartfelt letter from Brigitta…and thanks for sharing it, Margaret. It blesses my soul to see such tender evidence of the standards you and Nate instilled in your children and the realization of it to them as they mature into adulthood/parenthood,
and expressing it openly is such a healer. Keep it up ya’ll!
Thank you for your words of love and appreciating relationships, Birgitta. It was great visiting with you and with Emerald.