Selfish or Selfless?

My little house has 3 bedrooms: one large, one medium, and one closet-sized. We’ve taken the large bedroom and made it more like a camp cabin, putting the emphasis on sleeping space.

The room has a variety of beds with one king, one double, one twin, one twin-size floor mat, room for another twin in the closet and two mattresses stuffed under existing beds. Although there are ample blankets and pillows (at one point I counted 32 pillows), once in a while there are still problems.

“I need a flat pillow… a fluffy one… one without feathers.”

Or, “Where’s my favorite pillow?”

As the pillows get passed around, “favorites” get lost. Since I’m lucky enough to sleep in a different room, I have charge of my own favorite pillow. But one day I decided to choose (and hide) a spare, just in case.

I plucked one of the best pillows from the pile with just the right depth and feel, wrapped it in a plastic bag, and stashed it under my bed. That way, if anyone “borrowed” my bed pillow and failed to return it, my back-up would be ready. And then I promptly forgot about it.

Stashed

Several years passed until yesterday, when I was in a cleaning frenzy and decided to pull everything out from under my dressers and bed. There were old Christmas cards, sandals, a bin of papers, extension cords, a folded rug, boots…. and my pillow. I hadn’t even remembered it was there.

The pillow was still clean and in great condition, but as I pulled it out of the bag, it struck me what a waste it had been to stuff it under my bed like that. Truthfully, it was selfish and might even have qualified as hoarding, which is “to accumulate a supply of something that’s hidden or carefully guarded for preservation or future use.”

That’s exactly what I was doing with my pillow. If I was a squirrel, hoarding would have been commendable, but in my case, I was just refusing to share.

A pillow may be a small thing, and we had 31 others people were able to use. But the principle of withholding something good so others can’t use it and saving it for self is a serious fault.

Even more important than sharing a pillow, however, is sharing the other things God gives us, like spiritual blessings. For example, if we’re saved by Jesus, we should eagerly introduce him to others. If we’ve been given spiritual insights, we should willingly share them. And if we have opportunities to serve someone in need, we should offer to do so. Spiritual blessings that are hoarded put us in disobedience to the Lord.

But God knows that sometimes sharing is really hard. Once in a while it goes against our natural leanings so significantly that it’s a major sacrifice to do it. But that’s what makes it valuable to him and important for us. In my case, maybe it would be easier to share if I looked at every selfish impulse in the light of God’s opinion.

If I did, I know I’d never again stuff a pillow under my bed.

“Do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” (Hebrews 13:16)