Nelson’s Journal, Entry #5

On this day one year ago, Nelson already had lung cancer but didn’t know it. He was happy, living in Kona, Hawaii, while working hard with Youth With A Mission and tending to his pastoring responsibilities. After a past that had included some dark periods, he was counting his blessings.

We know, looking back, that his darkest days were just around the corner. But a year ago, he was facing forward, with joy.

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January 23, 2022

Sunday night.

Jimmy preached. Annso and I took a van with six passengers. Good service. I led the prayer time.

You can live somewhere thinking you’ll leave any time, for whatever reason, then 20 years go by. That’s what this place feels like. I can’t believe Annso is even here with me. The fact that she walked away from her career to come and be with me still seems like a dream, but it’s real.

I don’t journal much because journaling is about reflecting and writing thoughts down, and this season is more about blowing and going and, to be honest, I’d rather me do that than sit around reflecting on everything all the time. I’ve spent more than my share of time doing that, especially since sobriety started in 2006. Hard to believe it’s been almost 16 years since I’ve been a drinker. Just amazing.

Tanner and I talked about the rapture tonight, and I don’t really even like to talk about that stuff. It’s all speculation anyway, and I feel like dying and being raptured are the same. We should always be prepared for either/or.

I swam a mile today, as I do a few times a week. Nothing like a blowout where you really feel tired at the end of it. No energy to worry or stress about anything.

I came back and worked on my Dodge truck. I am happy for this season. I don’t know how it could get much better, and part of me doesn’t want it to change. But still, I want to be led by God.

Lord, I pray you would lead us and help us to be in the right place at the right time with our little guy. Thank you for the bond we have together and how well we get along.

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“He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” (Psalm 107:9)