Thanksgiving Living

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Last Thanksgiving we did what many American families do as they sit down to their annual feast. We went around the table, and each person gave a sentence of thanks for something or someone important to them. But we put a caveat on it: “You can’t make a generic statement that you’re thankful for faith or family, because we’re all thankful for those.”

That made it more interesting.

Reasons for thankfulness were imaginative and meaningful. One of Mary’s twin granddaughters, almost 9, said, “I’m thankful for all the former presidents of our country that were Christians.” Priceless. Speakers revealed something about themselves as well as the person they mentioned. All 28 guests participated, and we plan to repeat the exercise this year.

Some people find it easy to have a steady attitude of gratitude as they pace through life. Others find it more difficult and have to work at doing so. Whether it comes naturally or is forced, we all benefit from words of thanks.

Why is it that so many of us think complaining will make us feel better, when God has set up our internal barometers to work just the opposite? Maybe it’s because complaining is easier. It’s interesting that voicing thanks rather than being negative not only encourages listeners but lifts our own spirits, too. Knowing that, we ought to do much more of it.

All of us gravitate toward people who are grateful. They’re a pleasure to be around, and we find that hanging with them draws out the best in us, too. It’s been said, “Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” Although that isn’t in Scripture, it could easily fit into Proverbs.

God, the great Bestower of endless blessings, has instructed us to be enthusiastically thankful, and not just when we feel like it. He knows how life’s troubles can dampen our gratitude, but he insists we’re to be thankful anyway. He spells it out in 1 Thessalonians 5:18. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Really? Even when accidents occur? Or cancer invades a family? Or death takes a loved one?

Yes.

In all circumstances, even those we don’t understand at the time. And if nothing around us seems thank-worthy, we can thank God for himself, because he is always thank-worthy.

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” (Psalm 100:4-5)

 

Rules of the Road

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While running errands today I saw an interesting phenomenon: an 18-wheeler with big letters on the back that said, “Caution! Student driver!”

Was it a joke?

The giant truck was sitting at a red light poised to turn left. Watching from a distance, I realized it was no joke. When the light turned green, the truck inched its way around the corner, making a wide turn but not quite wide enough, his right wheels edging off the road. With his painfully slow movement, he saved his turn and continued forward, slowly crawling down the highway.

Later I Googled the name on the truck: Professional Drivers Institute. Sure enough, the semi I saw was part of a fleet of 18-wheelers used to teach drivers to maneuver the big-rigs. After 3 weeks of training a driver could become licensed and was ready for the real road.

The site says, “Each student is allowed their own semi-truck to drive on the range,” an on-site pavement much like the school parking lots where we learned to drive cars. It can’t be easy maneuvering a 53’ long behemoth around a set of tiny orange cones.

I never thought about truckers needing training. Weren’t they super-drivers who knew instinctively what to do when they first climbed high into the driver’s seat? Of course that would be goofier than handing car keys to a 15 year who’d never heard of “Rules of the Road.”

Most of life’s undertakings need a training period, from toilet training to trucking, and the most difficult training doesn’t involve toilets, trucks or anything else tangible.

How do children train for playground bullying? What prepares teens for high school peer pressure? Or newlyweds for marriage adjustments? Or new parents for ‘round the clock duty? Or the elderly for steady losses?

And how do we train for the ending of life?

I think of the Bible as my “Rules of the Road” book. Although God had many reasons for putting his instructions in writing, one of them was to train us for life. Scripture leaves no subject untouched. It’s as practical as any other how-to book and details not only what we should do but what we shouldn’t, complete with consequences. Of course taking advantage of biblical advice means we must regularly open the training manual. It doesn’t work to ask God what to do and then shun his answer-book.

Life-training isn’t easy. The Professional Drivers Institute requires only 50 hours behind the wheel before graduation, but God’s training program lasts a lifetime. The two curriculums do have one thing in common, though. PDI’s web site concludes by saying, “We’ll be there for you down the road, if the need should arise.”

 

And God says the same thing.

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:8)

Teaching by Example

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Marriage was one of God’s more creative ideas. Two idealistic people come together with high hopes for heaven on earth, then quickly realize the old adage about opposites attracting is true after all.

Of course putting opposites together was clever. God hoped the improbability of getting along would cause couples to seek his help, after which they’d have a good chance to make their marriage work, even thrive.

An old proverb that speaks truth is, “Friendship is the appreciation of similarities, and love is the appreciation of differences.” Every marriage needs its friendship component, but the glue that holds it together through tough times is the loving appreciation of differences.

Unfortunately it’s more likely we’ll try to change our partner than appreciate the differences. We think, “Why can’t everybody just be like me?”

Nate and I got married while he was still a law student. He was a coffee-holic who sipped from a bottomless mug as he studied, and I loved tea. In a restaurant, he’d watch as the waiter brought me a cup, saucer, tiny teapot of hot water, teabag and lemon wedge. “That looks like a lot of work,” he’d say. “Why don’t you just drink coffee?”

“Or you could drink tea!” I’d counter.

I wasn’t any good at making coffee and rarely made it for him. (Mr. Coffee hadn’t been invented.) He thought it was silly to buy a variety of teabags on our tiny budget. We just couldn’t see eye to eye.

Then one day Nate surprised me. “I’ve decided to try tea. As a matter of fact, I’m going to drink it for a whole year and try to like it.” I figured he had finally seen the value of thinking just like me.

Nate kindly followed through, getting acquainted with Earl Grey, Mint Medley and Lemon Zest. But at the end of that year, the coffee bean still had his heart. Eventually it won mine, too, although not because Nate asked me to forsake tea for a year. Actually he never insisted I think like him about anything. Looking back, I see that as true love, the appreciation of our differences.

Scripture tells us to look out for the interests of others, and to do unto others as we’d like them to do unto us. We’re also told to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. These things are to be done without first trying to change the other person. We’re to do them to imitate God, and when we do, he promises two good things: life will go better for us (including marriage), and he’ll reward our efforts.

I wish I could say I did as well as Nate did at appreciating marriage differences. He taught by example, and I guess it’s taken me until now to really figure out the lesson.

“If you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”  (Luke 6:33,36)