Monthly Archives: February 2012

Working at It

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There’s nothing like young children to make sure their parents and grandparents are accountable to the truth. When we read them a story and try to shorten it by skipping a few words, they interrupt and point out we missed a line. If we promise to play hide-and-seek as soon as nap time is over, they don’t forget. And when we say we love them, they’re watching continually for a demonstration of that.

These dynamics are probably part of God’s teaching of parents and grandparents, this accountability-to-children factor. It becomes ongoing motivation for us to practice living responsibly. An added dimension of this is that God wants us to act with similar accountability toward him. Interestingly, sometimes he prompts it exactly as children do.

“You haven’t told the whole truth,” he tells us, “so your lie-of-omission will come back to bite you.” This echoes a preschooler’s comment, “You skipped a line of the story.”

Or God might say, “Didn’t you promise to talk to me at the beginning of each day?” When we promise, we should follow through… like we do with that hide-and-seek game after naps.

And just like little ones watch for our loving behavior toward them, God longs for that from us, in response to him.

Young children seem to love their parents no matter what. They generously give them the benefit of every doubt, even when parental behavior is neutral toward them or, amazingly, even when it’s abusive. Some of it might be need-based since they have no one else to turn to, but there’s also a component of brightly-burning hope that refuses to be snuffed out by contrary circumstances.

These two relational pieces, loving no matter what and brightly-burning hope, are also present in our bond with the Lord. When our behavior isn’t loving toward him or even borders on abusive, his response is still, “I’ll love you no matter what.” Additionally he sets up unnumbered opportunities for us to demonstrate our love to him, having a brightly-burning hope that our actions will reinforce our words.

God consistently uses earthly parenthood as a biblical image of his relationship with us, attempting to eliminate some of our confusion about him. He encourages us to call him “Father” and expects human dads to be ongoing models in relating to their children of how he treats them.

But God knows that’s a tall order. Just stretching toward it is all any parent needs to do to bring delight to the Lord. Although we ought to read the whole storybook, play that post-nap game, and act consistently in love, we can’t always do it.

When that happens, God understands. But he also hopes we’ll keep on trying.

“Your love has meant hard work, and the hope that you have in our Lord Jesus Christ means sheer dogged endurance in the life that you live before God, the Father of us all.” (1 Thessalonians 1:3)

100%

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While Linnea gets to know her 3rd child, this grandma is having fun with the 1st and 2nd. Yesterday, since rain eliminated playgrounds and neighborhood hikes, the 3 of us ventured out to the library. As we started our drive, I suggested we each name something we’d like to see during our morning together. “I hope I see a horse,” I said.

Skylar quickly chimed in. “I want to see a cow, brown and white.” She also spoke for Micah. “Micah wants to see a fire truck.”

“Big fire truck,” he added.

The gigantic library building captivated us from the time we pulled into the parking lot. Leave it to children to point out the important sights, like the traveling book-mobile. Driving up close to it, we took time to enjoy the painted books on its exterior and the real books visible through its windows. “Those are for children who don’t have cars and can’t drive here,” Skylar said. Not bad reasoning, for a 3 year old.

As we walked into the front entrance, a larger-than-life, brightly painted horse greeted us. “Look!” Skylar said. “Midgee, a horse!” And sure enough, it was.

The children’s section, dominating half of the ground floor, was packed with child-friendly computers, magnet boards, floor puzzles, puppets, books, and an encouraging staff. As we mouse-clicked on a screen to match up mommy and baby animals, suddenly we were looking at Skylar’s cow. Brown and white to boot.

Our 2 hours ran out before their interest did, and when I announced it was time to leave, both children resisted. Strong-willed Skylar seemed close to an outburst, and I wondered how I’d successfully get them to the car.

Just then the entire library went dark, a power outage from God. Skylar jumped up, grabbed my hand and said, “It’s dark! Let’s go!”

Taking young children on an outing that’s been arranged completely for their benefit can be either a dream or a nightmare. I wonder if God sometimes plans good things strictly for our benefit and is disappointed when our responses flip-flop. “Yes, Lord, you blessed us with a sunny day, but now it’s too hot.” Or, “Sure, you gave me a new job, but now I don’t like my boss.”

Receiving what we’re given without wanting to tweak it is a skill gained only through resolute practice. With little children, we sometimes have to take good gifts away from them for the sake of teaching. And God sometimes takes away our sunny day, a new job, or any other blessing we will only appreciate by losing it.

Skylar, Micah and I were grateful (for different reasons) to quickly exit the dark library. And once in the car, as I was clicking Micah’s seat belt, a red fire truck drove right past us, sirens blaring, horns honking, and God blessing us 100%.

“Big fire truck!” Micah added.

“We brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. If we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” (1 Timothy 6:7-8)

Occupying Center Stage

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Family-friendly expert James Dobson says that when a new baby arrives, the youngsters already in the home have an interesting perspective. What they see and hear is the equivalent of daddy telling mommy, “Honey, I’ve got good news. I’m bringing home another wife to join our family. She’ll be just as important as you are, and I’ll love her just as much as I love you. She’ll be part of every family gathering and will sleep with us, too. We’ll have to treat her with extra kindness until she gets comfortable being here. You’ll just love her.”

Understanding this perspective, which is common in older siblings, gives us a clear picture of what’s just ahead for my daughter and son-in-law, who introduced a new baby one week ago. At the moment, everything is sunshine and light. Skylar, age 3, and Micah, 2, are still in a period of adjustment we used to call “the honeymoon stage” with the new baby still in the category of a new toy. “Can I hold the baby, Mommy?” is still being answered with, “Sure,” and cameras are still recording each episode. We’re praising their gentleness and finding it easy to continue the introductory  litany:

“What a sweet big sister you are, Skylar. You’ll be a wonderful teacher for Autumn. She can’t do this… that… or the other… and you can.”

“Baby has no teeth, Micah. Do you have teeth? Wow! You can chew strawberries and beans, but baby can’t. What a big boy you are!”

Linnea and Adam know all about what’s upcoming and how to handle it, but that doesn’t make it easy. I’ve been impressed with their parenting and know they’ll persist in not allowing children #1 and #2 to occupy center-stage the way they’ll both want to.

Scripture gives a good deal of parental advice on this very point, stressing the importance of not permitting children to rule the roost. But it isn’t just a problem with kids. We adults like to occupy center-stage once in a while too, wanting increased attention from a husband, a parent, a friend or even God. We hate to wait our turn and often have difficulty sharing. We especially struggle with this when God is the one insisting on it:

“Why can’t I have positive answers to my prayers and have them immediately? And why do I have to serve in this… that… or the other capacity once again? Why can’t someone else do it this time?”

But when we begin thinking like this, we start sliding backwards spiritually. Living the Christian life is all about surrendering. Our calendars, the hours of our days, our energy and, much to our dismay, center-stage. But just as Skylar and Micah have to adjust to baby Autumn, the rest of us have to adjust to God’s way of doing things, especially if we want peace in the family.

“Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” (Romans 12:2a)