Skipping Communion

Today was the first Sunday of the month. Churches I’ve belonged to over the years have traditionally served communion to their congregations on the first Sunday, and whenever I’ve had the chance, I’ve participated.

But this morning’s service was decidedly thought-provoking. Maybe it was because I was away from home attending Linnea and Adam’s church in Florida. Maybe it was because the two of them were managing the baby nursery today, and I was sitting alone in the auditorium. Maybe it was the pastor’s sermon. But when it came time to walk to the front for communion, I stayed seated. Never in the 50 years since I began participating have I skipped it, until today.

This morning before we left the house for church, I read a verse from the last chapter of Isaiah. God was speaking, and he said, “These are the ones I look on in favor, those who are humble and contrite in spirit and who tremble at my Word.”

As I sat down in church, I was still thinking about that verse and especially the word “tremble”. During the service I sensed God asking me some serious questions. “How do you handle Scripture? Are you taking it for granted? How do you choose verses for your blog post each night? With humility? A contrite heart? With trembling?”

I’ve often told my kids, “Your Bible is not like any other book on the planet. It’s supernatural, alive, powerful enough to change your life. Always treat it with enormous respect.” Had I been doing that?

I love Scripture. I’ve spent years furrowing my brow trying to understand it. I’ve been to a Bible museum and seen an ancient hand-written copy, stained with the blood of someone who was killed while protecting it. I know that emperors and kings have tried to do away with it unsuccessfully, and I know its been God who’s caused it to survive. He says it’s “eternal and stands firm in the heavens.” (Psalm 119:89)

But have I ever trembled in approaching my Bible? Suddenly I felt awful. God seemed to be saying, “When you post parts of my Word each night, I want you to have a more reverent, cautious attitude. Make sure it’s me choosing the verses, not you. After all, the words are mine.”

When it came time to have communion, the pastor encouraged us to “get clean before God” first. And as I bowed my head, my eyes filled with tears, and I felt dirty. I asked him to forgive me for treating Scripture without the humility and contrite spirit he demands, and for not approaching it with trembling. I want to use his Word in a way that pleases him, and I crave his favor, as the verse says. I pleaded for him to teach me how, and I know he will.

When I looked up, several hundred people had gone forward for communion and returned to their seats. The service was over. Although I hadn’t participated, I’d done something better: gotten clean with God.

“These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” (Isaiah 66:2b)

Q & A

Flying from Chicago to Orlando is, as we used to say in the ‘60’s, a trip, and I don’t mean just the traveling kind. Airplanes are loaded with families headed for Disney World, and kids are riding high with excitement.

 I’m on the way to my grandson’s first birthday, which will take place tomorrow, but partying began early during today’s take-off. As our festive blue and red 737 lifted from the runway, it seemed to angle straight up, slamming us into our seats and eliciting applause and cheers from the children on board. They were pumped for a fun ride, and what they got was competition for Space Mountain.

It was a relief to get into the air after a couple of hours in the airport. Children don’t wait well, and parents all around me were working overtime to keep peace. Our plane arrived a bit late, which brought tension to the waiting area. Traveling is high-pressure for almost everyone, but adding diaper bags, pint-sized back packs and tired little ones turns up the heat considerably.

One little boy, about eight, was a non-stop question-machine, every sentence looking for an answer from his multi-tasking mother. The one I loved best was, “Did people used to not be able to go everyplace?”

It was a good question for a child on a trip. His mom’s response wasn’t as good. “Did you wash your hands when you were in the bathroom?”

Without answering, he repeated his question. “Mom, did people used to not be able to go everyplace?”

This time she answered with, “Is your zipper up?” He asked a third time, and she said, “Tie your shoe. You’re going to fall.”

But children are pros at outlasting parents, and because of his tireless repetitions, she finally answered him. “No.” The whole exchange was like a Jerry Seinfeld comedy bit.

Traveling is a nerve-wracking business full of questions without good answers. A relationship with God can be that way, too. He might ask me, “Did you do the right thing in that relationship yesterday?”

And I answer with, “Please bless my children.”

He repeats his question, and I say, “Help my husband at work.”

But God is every bit as persistent as an eight year old question-machine. And because he wants me to move steadily closer to righteousness, he’ll outlast me every time. My thoughts may be as scattered as the young boy’s mother when she was unable to focus on his question. But God will work on me until he breaks through my multi-tasking fog and gets my answer to what he asks.

There’s one acceptable way for me to dodge God’s questions, and that would be to ask a question back. But to be fair, my question would have to be related to his. If he asks, “Did you seek godly counsel before you made that decision?” I could then ask-back, “Would you tell me who I should talk to about it?”

There are no questions more important than God’s, and he is intensely interested in my answers, not because he didn’t already know what I was going to say, but because he wanted me to hear myself indicating where I stood.

That harried airport mother should have answered her son with a question of her own:

“What?”

After that, they might have made real progress.

“But what about you?” Jesus asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “God’s Messiah.” Luke 9:20)

Keep Talking

I know my prayers are often blotted with selfishness and are off the mark. God must smile at my efforts the way I smile at a child trying to write her name for the first time. The effort is sincere but the result is skewed. But she keeps trying, and so do I.

Why? Because talking with the Almighty, the One who has power over all things and owns the universe is a privilege beyond price. It’s a luxury more valuable than talking with President Obama, Bill Gates or Brad Pitt. God is the only one who can affect change not only in the world but also in the human heart. He can transform my heart and also the hearts of others for whom I pray.

Chuck Swindoll said, “There is no more significant involvement in another’s life than prevailing, consistent prayer. It is more helpful than a gift of money, more encouraging than a strong sermon, more effective than a compliment, more reassuring than a physical embrace.”

When Nate and I were first married, we didn’t understand each other very well. I expected things from him that he couldn’t give, mostly because he didn’t know I wanted them. For example, when I got emotional about something and started to cry, I’d long for him to come and sit next to me, put his arm around me and sympathize. What he did instead was come with a list of ways to fix the problem.

I could have told him he was missing the mark and described what I wanted from him. Without doubt he would have delivered. But I thought he should have known it already, instinctively, and if he didn’t, he should have been able to read my mind.

And that’s the remarkable thing about prayer. As I’m babbling away trying to find the words to express my longing, he’s already got it. He knows me inside and out, my passions, frustrations, wants and needs. I talk to him because I love him for all this and for how many ways he’s demonstrated his love for me. Also, I know he has the ability to affect change, both tangible and intangible, external and internal, something even a powerful world dictator can’t do.

It’s difficult talking to someone who is dear to me but who I cannot see or audibly hear. The Lord knows this but doesn’t want it to become a stumbling block to our continued conversation. Jesus even mentioned it to his disciples, reminding them it was easy to hear him clearly when they were looking right at him. But then he mentioned the rest of us, the ones coming along after he’d physically left the earth. “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” (John 20:29)

And so I know he knows, which brings comfort as well as a desire for me to keep talking. It won’t always be this way, though. Some day I’ll get to see him exactly like the disciples did, as a mentor and friend, visible, audible, and talking directly to me. And I can’t wait!

“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24)