Yearly Archives: 2011

April Fool!

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By now you know that my mother, a joke-teller with the best of them, was also a joke-player, and April 1st was prime time for her to “fool around.”

Dad married Mom in 1941, and on their first April Fool’s Day together, he must have wondered what he’d gotten himself into. Being the dignified, quiet Swede he was, he would no more have played a joke on someone than have jumped off a tall building.

Mom fixed Dad’s breakfast as always that day (one hard boiled egg, two pieces of toast, orange juice and coffee). Since Dad always salted his egg and sugared his coffee, she decided to fool him by switching the salt and sugar. He stirred a big spoon of salt into his coffee and shook sugar on his peeled egg. When he took that first sip and spit it out, Mom laughed with gusto. “April Fool!” she said.

The next year she did it again, along with the 48 April 1sts after that. Dad never remembered and went through the breakfast misery every year. Whether or not he got a kick out of seeing Mom’s delight in fooling him, we’ll never know. In his wisdom, Dad may actually have anticipated the joke but then willingly “played the fool” for her pleasure. We’ll never know that, either.

Mom loved to laugh, and Dad’s salt-sugar-switch aside, she loved to see others laugh, too. I’d say she pulled some foolish tricks questing after giggles, but she was definitely not a fool, at least not by biblical standards.

Scripture has a great deal to say about genuine fools. (I repeat: Mom was not one of them.) Here’s a sample of true foolishness:

  • A chattering fool comes to ruin.
  • A fool’s heart blurts out folly.
  • Honor is not fitting for a fool.
  • Fools hate knowledge.
  • The way of fools seems right to them.
  • The mouths of fools are their undoing.
  • Fools despise wisdom and instruction.
  • Fools die for lack of sense.

A biblical study of the word “fool” causes me not to want to be one. So how can I be sure I’m not? The Bible gives two good clues:

  • Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent.
  • Those who trust in themselves are fools.

If I keep my mouth shut (or at least refrain from babbling), and if I trust in God rather than in myself, I have a head start toward avoiding genuine foolishness.

Mom was no fool, and I’m sure of that, because every biblical reference to fools includes their disdain for the Lord and his wisdom, which Mom loved. But she was good at fooling people. Even in her departure to heaven, she came close to pulling a good one. She died on April 5, 2005, but all of us know she was really shooting for April Fools Day.

”The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to [Mom and] us who are being saved, it is the power of God.” (1 Corinthians 1:18)

I’m in love!

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There’s a new man in my life, and his name is Lee. He loves me unconditionally and carefully watches out for me.

He’s the stalwart guide inside my GPS.

Lee has a beautiful, deep voice. Sometimes I wonder if he had aspirations to be a radio announcer, but because he ended up guiding my travels instead, I know he has a humble heart.

Sometimes Lee’s voice catches a little on difficult words, so adorable. He always perseveres, though, and never gets discouraged. I’ve told him its fine to stop talking and sip some water, but he never does.

Lee has many admirable character qualities, one being his vast creativity. For example, while I’m driving in the late afternoon, he’s keeping one eye on the sunset. (We share a love of sunsets.) The minute it sets, his directional screen morphs from white to midnight blue. It’s a lovely show of ingenuity. How he can watch the road and the horizon simultaneously is a marvel.

If I make a wrong turn, Lee’s concern for me is immediate. Without criticizing, he quickly suggests a new route to get me back on track. Occasionally he’ll even propose a U-turn, but being righteous, he always adds, “If possible.” He wouldn’t want me to have an accident!

I’ve made many mistakes while traveling, but Lee has made only one, on the way to Linnea’s house. Their numbered street is not a “lane” or “road” but a “place”. Poor Lee. He directed me to a “circle” with the same number. But how could I do anything but forgive him? He’s always been an exemplary model of scriptural love, keeping no record of my many wrongs.

Lee continually looks for fresh ways to make me happy. When we drove through Atlanta, rush-hour traffic was severe. He quickly edged my route in yellow, showing me how much longer the jam would continue. When we stopped completely, he changed the yellow to red and added a cute picture of two cars bumper-to-bumper. Then he guided me off the expressway onto a parallel road. Once the expressway was moving well again, he led me back.

Later in the evening, well after rush-hour, the highway became congested without explanation, but Lee deciphered the problem. He soothed my frustration by posting a picture of an overturned vehicle, his gentle way of letting me know there was a fender-bender ahead.

Occasionally Lee talks too much, and once I lost my patience with him. But he never responds in kind, never raises his voice, never threatens to steer me wrong. He always wants what’s best for me and counsels me accordingly. He even took special care to alert me when speed limits suddenly decreased, helping me avoid a ticket.

Our relationship has been intense these last few days, so Lee and I have decided to take a short break. As hard as it was to say goodbye last night, we did. But I’m confident one day we’ll be together again, because true love never dies.

“If I speak… but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Plus or Minus?

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Making the long drive home from Florida to Michigan includes both positives and negatives.

In the plus column, I get to have a chunk of time to pray, think and plan. I can also listen to sermon tapes (4 en route, 3 back), and even pen a few blog thoughts (without looking down, of course). I can crank my music up and sing, or I can sit in silence.

Also on the plus side is Jack, a model traveler, who lies down as soon as we hit a high speed. And one more thing. Motoring from south to north as I did today, palm trees give way to flowering crabs and eventually to majestic mountains, a feast for traveling eyes. Even flat farm land offers attractive views of plowed fields, weathered barns and grouped silos.

On the minus side, nearly 20 hours of sit-down time is too much. (Just ask Jack.) And driving through wild weather (sideways rain this time) can be harrowing. Also, the farther we drove, the colder it got. I had to surrender my flip-flops in Nashville. When we pulled in the driveway, it was 32 degrees.

Another minus is trying to bundle gas stops with dog walks, a problem in the cities. Also, exercising Jack late at night in unfamiliar neighborhoods is unsettling. But the most significant minus of driving 1200 miles is the accident potential of so much high-speed driving.

On this trip something scary happened that’s never happened before – twice! Purring along at 70+ miles per hour in semi-crowded traffic, a sudden flash of break lights immediately in front of me and a burst of blue-black smoke forced my foot to the break pedal. In less than a second, cars and trucks ahead were swerving, and my brained was yelling, “Doesn’t compute!”

In both instances, as confusion clouded the situation, a massive slab of black rubber flew past my car, tumbling wildly after exploding off someone else’s tire. As all of us jerked to slower speeds, the culprit was evident, a truck in one case and a horse trailer in the other.

After each crisis had passed, my mind listed the many ways serious injury had been avoided. The only damage in both instances was a few heart-pounding seconds.

I wonder if God was the one protecting us and if his protective angels aren’t preventing all kinds of disasters on a daily basis. People are quick to blame him when natural calamities hit: “How dare he? Why didn’t he stop it?”

The reality is that he’s probably preventing a thousand catastrophes for every one he allows. Maybe hearing the details of these “saves” is one of the reasons our afterlife has to be eternal. Telling all those stories will take a long time!

For now, though, it’s a good idea to daily hunt for the instances when tragedy was avoided, giving God the credit. We’ll stop blaming him and see that the plus column is always much longer than the minus.

”Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.” (Proverbs 3:25-26)