Yearly Archives: 2011

Fast Friends for the Long Haul

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Like many women, I have a number of friends from long ago, relationships that are tried and true. Our one-on-one’s have stood the test of time and will last, we are sure, until death do us part.

I’ve spent the last couple of days with one of these gems, my friend Lynn. We first met as pre-teens at Moody Church during the Eisenhower years. By 1959 we were bonded in a way that has lasted through 52 years.

Lynn and I acted goofy in the early days. For example, we tried smoking when we found a package of Cools under a park bush. After running home for matches, we went back to the park, hid behind a hedge and lit up, swallowing the smoke as if it was a cool drink. It didn’t have much appeal.

We blistered our skin under a sun lamp, trying to get a winter tan. We drenched our hair with peroxide in an effort to go blond. We pulled bad-mannered pranks at the church camp.

But we did good things together, too. We learned to knit and turned out sweaters, hats, mittens and scarves. We supported each other through multiple boyfriends and ended up engaged within a year of each other. We married 9 months apart and were bridesmaids in each other’s weddings. Our husbands became good friends and were in the Army at the same time, though Don rose much higher in the ranks. We became grandmas the same year, and this week we enjoyed being together again… as always.

Life has become more tenuous these days. While Nate was struggling with cancer, Don was battling the aftereffects of a stroke. Rough knocks have gradually changed us, and we talked about how different our perspectives are these days compared to “before”, touching on each decade of our friendship.

We’ve accepted the difficult truth that God sends upsetting experiences our way for our ultimate good. His timing is significant, and he delivers crises based on what we can handle and no more. He has us on his mind continually and stays close through every decade. He’s loves us when we act goofy and forgives when we offend him.

In other words, he’s the perfect Friend.

Lynn and I thoughtlessly set God aside as teens. But this Friend, ever-patient, preserved us through those rocky years and waited for us to turn full-face toward him. Difficulties were part of the reason we did.

Today we howled with laughter in a read-aloud session of our high school letters, but the very best part of these two days has been our conversations about the Lord, his Word and his work in our lives.

When our years conclude as Nate’s have, one-on-one friendship with God will be all that counts.

“Since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.” (Romans 5:10)

 

Wild in the House!

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Last night at 1:45 am I was brushing my teeth, the last chore after a long day, when Louisa and her friend Sara came bounding up the stairs. “There’s wildlife in the house! Come quick! It’s big!”

This was a moment custom-designed for Nate, always a champion at man-against-beast within our home. He’d caged a squirrel, a rabbit and a bird, and demolished bumble bees, spiders and horse flies. But in his absence, it had to be me.

“It’s in the pop cans can!” they said, as we approached the noise. I hoped it wasn’t a fox, coyote or raccoon, all of which we’ve recently seen in the neighborhood. Our aluminum can recycling system is over-the-railing into a plastic garbage can at the base of the stairway.

“In there!” Weezi said, pointing.

All 3 of us peered over the railing. “It’s big!” they both said.

In slow, single file we snuck down the steps, Louisa in the lead, following my instructions to gently lift the whole garbage can and carry it outside. But when she moved it, the “big thing” jumped straight up, causing her to drop the can, scream and double-step up the stairs.

That’s when we saw what it was: a half-grown squirrel, frightened to death. All of us leaned over the railing cooing, “Awww, he’s cute!”

We found the garbage lid, covered the can, lifted it outside and set him free. But our encounter with wildlife hadn’t ended. As I reached to turn off the hall light, an 8” dragonfly emerged, the biggest, scariest, buzzingest insect I’d ever seen! Now it was my turn to scurry up the steps. With all the screaming going on, I worried our neighbors would soon appear.

Using the tip of an umbrella to control his flight from a distance, we wore him out until he fell to the floor where we caged him in a bread basket. He, too, tore into the dark night, thankful to be free.

On the way back into the house, we spotted a spider the size of a dime (eliminated today with a broom), and this morning there were mouse droppings across the kitchen counter and stovetop, hints of encounters yet to come.

We didn’t want any of this wildlife in our house, and interestingly, they all regretted being there. I know how they felt, having raced into situations where I didn’t belong. Once inside, it was usually difficult to get out. Occasionally damage would occur, bringing regrets and necessitating apologies.

God offers to spare us from such thoughtlessness, preventing us from running wild. But of course that presumes we trust his wisdom over our own. If we do, he’ll spare us a great deal of grief.

Today we figured out how our wildlife had entered. I’d left the door propped open while carrying boxes in, forgetting to close it.

Too bad they hadn’t asked God whether or not they should have come in.

”When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild.” (Proverbs 29:18)

Makeover Pictures

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All of us love to see before-and-after photographs. In an article about face lifts, hairdos or weight loss, I love looking back and forth at the two pictures, studying the improvements. Genuine change is encouraging, because all of us see things in ourselves we don’t like. Something about the after-shots inspires hope.

I find it fascinating that even the “beautiful people,” movie stars and models, often expound on their physical flaws, things the rest of us don’t see. Apparently none of us are exempt from wanting to make positive changes.

And that’s just on the outside.

What about the inside? My guess is most of us have flaw-lists far longer for internal stuff than external, all of it without an easy fix. Not being able to visualize our inner changes is one of the reasons it’s so difficult to make them. We can’t take before and after pictures and can’t see how we’re doing.

Yet deep down, with all the negatives that need improving, something positive pushes us to keep trying to do better. For example, we determine we’ll never stretch the truth again or waste any more time. We promise to keep confidences. We resolve to put others ahead of ourselves.

But in working on this kind of inner makeover, failure often comes sooner rather than later. The older we get, the more we realize that bootstrap efforts will never get the job done. We’re tempted to throw up our hands, accept defeat and say, “I can’t improve; that’s just how I am.”

There is a successful route to a good-looking internal makeover, however, and it starts with admitting we need outside help to make the inside stuff happen. Thankfully, God is standing by with an open-ended offer to assist. Even if every other effort has failed, partnering with him will bring success.

In the Bible, a first-rate internal makeover is called “bearing fruit.” In other words, if we sync our inner want-to’s with God’s want-to’s for us, something good will be produced. That goes for our own lives and the lives of those around us. It’s a good deal all the way around, although we can’t miss the “if”.

“If” we sync with what God wants…

And it’s important to know what that is. I’m learning even in widowhood, as I work through one of life’s big disappointments, that leaning into God makes good things happen inside of me. Life-fruit gets produced. I’m experiencing it, and anyone who partners with the Lord can experience it, too.

Though I can’t show before and after pictures, I can confirm there have been positive changes, because I know where I was before, and I’m on my way into God’s after.

And unlike before and after photographs, God’s version of the after keeps changing and improving, which is why before and after pictures could never tell the story anyway.

Jesus said, “No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. I am the true vine.” (John 15:4,1)