Monthly Archives: January 2011

In his words, Conclusion

Posted on by

 

The first half of this letter, written by Nate to his firstborn son in 1996, was detailed two days ago. He poured out a description of his painful life journey, honestly admitting to an infatuation with money. When he succeeded at making it, he wanted more. When he lost it all, he grew bitter and angry:

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

I was unhappy and bitter. Everything I had, the world easily reached – destroyed – burned like straw. 

In the depths of my financial disaster, no financial rescue or restoration occurred. I was tormented. A family and household needed to be supported. Old habits of spending died slowly and painfully. I thought the tax change unjust, to impact real estate and not municipal bonds, insurance or other endeavors. Men I knew in those lines of work would have fared no better than I did if they’d been attacked. Why should they keep their money and I lose? 

And now, years later, the senator who was the architect of tax reform admitted in the press he was wrong, that tax reform went too far. They gave benefits, then took them away retroactively. The world is deceitful and evil. 

But the world cannot be our standard, our reliance. Hebrews 12:2: “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” 

In my travail, I came to a rededication to Christ – reading Scripture, praying, participating in an organized Bible study, focusing my thoughts and energies on “the race marked out for me.”  

What does Jesus want me to devote my energies to? Hating those who wronged me? Or seeking His guidance and working for Him and my family? As Christian men, we know the answer. In our “struggle against sin,” we take encouragement that the Lord disciplines those He loves. 

Now, when I practice law, I think of the heavenly reason why I do it. That is my “race”. Not my choice, but my “race”. There are missteps and down days, but the purpose is sure.  

Paul struggled with sin as all Christian men do. (Romans 7:7-25). Christ rescues us from sin. Service to others is paramount (1 Corinthians 16:15-18). We live as children of light (Ephesians 4:17-32) 

I share the details of my life with you so you can see the human difficulty of trying to live a Christ-centered life – we cannot do it alone. We must rely on Him every day. If we don’t, we all stray. We read His word and pray, or we lose to the world. 

Love,

Papa

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Nate’s struggle is evident in his words. Thankfully, he recognized the removal of his “fortunes” as God’s discipline after he’d become too enamored with money. He also realized the Lord was disciplining him out of love.

I well remember the angst of those days of business failure and despair. Reading Nate’s letter, especially as he reveals his change of heart, brings encouragement to me today. It’s heartening to realize that through all the upheaval, Nate felt loved by God.

Maybe his words will lift another who is currently in the battle, wondering where the Lord’s rescue might be. Although God did rescue Nate (on this earth), it had nothing to do with restoring the money he’d lost but everything to do with changing his heart.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.” (Psalm 91:14)

January 5, 2009

Posted on by

   

As a young mom I always fantasized about having twins. I would have given them matching names (Pam and Pat, Jennie and Jonnie) and dressed them in matching outfits every day. God didn’t put twins among my children but sent them one generation later, to Hans and Katy.

 

Today we celebrated the birthday of an unusual set of family twins, though, and it wasn’t Thomas and Evelyn. When Katy was pregnant with Nicholas, their first child, my niece Johanna was also pregnant. Interestingly, Hans and his cousin Jo have been pals since babyhood, both being born in 1982 and spending much childhood time together.

Their weddings took place several months apart, and when we learned they’d be having babies close together, too, it was like the frosting on the cake. Jo’s baby was due in December of 2008, Hans’ in January of 2009. But Jo’s Ruby came many days late, and Hans’ wife Katy delivered Nicholas many days early. Our cross-Atlantic twins arrived on the same day, nearly during the same hour.

I’ve enjoyed watching Ruby grow and change as a visual for what Nicholas was also doing, far away across five time zones. When I held Ruby, I thought about holding Nicholas, and it helped my missing his babyhood.

The cousin-twins turned two today, getting into the birthday excitement with vigor, as most two’s do. Although Nicholas won’t be able to celebrate with Ruby when they turn three, today they entertained us at their double-birthday bash, cooperating with every part of the day and smiling on cue in front of a bank of cameras. We marveled at their stamina and the absence of meltdowns, a happy day all around.

After their mellow behavior today, no one would guess they can both pull out all the stops with some classic tantrums. Just a few days ago Nicholas went to the wall over an insignificant issue, testing his parents to the limit. They didn’t cave (kudos) and kept their voices calm as they gently but firmly resisted his childish ploys. As he was carried upstairs, the supersonic noise level diminished, and Nelson and I looked at each other.

“What was that?” he said.

“Original sin.”

Just because these little ones are generally agreeable, it doesn’t mean the “evil in the human heart” isn’t lurking just beneath the surface. It’s present in every one of us and was the very reason Christ came to die. Watching a two year old fit of temper dispels the myth that human beings are basically good.

 

But it’s an oxymoron that just as they’re melting down, screaming and kicking, they’re irresistibly adorable with their pink cheeks and pudgy limbs. I think God made them that way so we’d give them the benefit of the doubt when things got questionable.

But today our cousin-twins were well-behaved. And I know they’ll look darling in the twin red hoodies that were among their gifts.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

In his own words.

Posted on by

While filing a document recently, my eye caught the corner of a paper with Nate’s writing on it. Naturally I pulled it from the file drawer to take a closer look.

It was a letter written by Nate to Nelson in 1996. The five page synopsis of his career is remarkably candid, touching on the business highs and lows of recent decades. Although Nate had never shared his personal financial data with his children or anyone else, on this occasion he laid everything out in full.

Nelson remembers receiving the original letter and being surprised at how much his father candidly shared. Nate wrote about a tortured period in his life, crediting an unbalanced love of money as the reason for his struggle, mentioning a bitterness that took root at that time.

Most men shy away from honest sharing, and Nate, too, had trouble being frank with peers. Below are parts of his letter (with Nelson’s permission). I share it because of its unusual openness and because I know if Nate came back to town with the heavenly perspective he now has, he’d eagerly tell these things to whoever would listen.

Although I won’t share the details he asked Nelson to “keep confidential,” here’s some of what he wrote:

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Nelson,

The text I constantly think of when I consider the role of the Christian man in American society is Hebrews 12:1 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud if witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Actually the entire 12th chapter of Hebrews is encouragement to live a godly, Christ-centered life in the world – a world of persecution, boredom, temptation, indifference, ridicule, ease, sloth and human needs. “Run the race marked out for us.”

In other words, God’s chosen path for us, not ours. We don’t always get our first choice in the things of this world – sometimes we think we would have chosen a different body, mind, era, parents, generally different circumstances. But Christ’s mission for Christian men is to live out in a godly way what He has selected for us. We are to do so in a way that honors Him. We are to live as an example of Christ to our families, churches and coworkers.

The man who knows Christ wants to live for Him, but as imperfect humans, we fall short. Sometimes we fail because of worldly success and at other times because of failure.

In my life I went through a period of intense striving for money and the recognition it brings in the U.S.A. [Here Nate detailed his finances and how well he was doing at earning.] Then my partner had a stroke. One year later, the Congress passed the Tax Reform Act of 1986. This law reduced the net revenue of my company by $1,000,000 a year, and by 1989 bankrupted me.

I was unhappy when I had money, because I always wanted more. When I lost it, I wanted it back. I was unhappy and became bitter.

[To be continued, two days hence…]

“Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10)