Monthly Archives: June 2010

Not as it seems… (Part II)

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Our Chicago house finally sold, after four years of trying, in early 2009. This dictated the delightful reality that we would be moving to Michigan! Nate planned to continue working if he could, riding the commuter train that traveled daily around the south end of Lake Michigan and dropped him two blocks from his office in the Loop. I would transform the run-down cottage into our year-round home. Over the years we had both craved more time in the restful atmosphere surrounding this place, and suddenly we found ourselves based there full time. Today is the one year anniversary of that move.

God arranged things as he did, when he did, for good reasons that were prompted by love and orchestrated through wisdom. Last spring he saw down the road to the pancreatic cancer that would arrive in the fall. He also saw Nate’s death, our children’s grief  and my struggle with widowhood. So he prepared a plan and began unfolding it by facilitating the Chicago house sale. With that first step, he plucked us from the bustling suburban life where we’d lived most of our together-years and set us down in the stillness of our Michigan cottage.

Step two was three months spent squeezing two houses of stuff into one, unpacking a million boxes. Just after Labor Day 2009, the summer residents left the area for their fall and winter lives “back home” (like Nate and I had done all those years), and we got rid of the last empty box. As the leaves turned gold, an extraordinary peace settled over us at our new address. Unbeknownst to us, we were being strengthened for step three, pancreatic cancer.

When it hit at the end of September,  the Lord’s step four brought our family together in miraculous ways. Although it  was difficult then to be 110 miles from life-long friends and our beloved church on the other side of the lake, this isolation made family relationships even more precious. And as individuals, each of us became more dependent on the heavenly Father. When God’s step five whisked Nate to heaven, we all understood the victory of that for him and wouldn’t have wanted him to linger as he was, ravaged by disease and suffering terrible pain.

After Nate’s funeral in November, countless friends asked if I’d be moving “back home” to resume life in the Chicago area. But I knew without doubt God had settled me in Michigan for important reasons, so decided not to make any changes on my own but to embrace his choices for me instead.

As Jack and I walked the snowy lanes of our Michigan neighborhood throughout the winter, usually without seeing another human being, the Lord became my new partner. We began a phase of our relationship that might not have been as meaningful, had I been surrounded by friends and enveloped in activity. There was unlimited quiet time to think, cry, sleep and talk to God. He had deliberately relocated us to Michigan, and part of his plan was that I stay put.

Now, after a very significant year, my little cottage has truly become my home.

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Back in 1916, four year old Evelyn offered water to guests in good faith, knowing they’d enjoy a cool drink on a hot day. I, too, am being refreshed here in Michigan, not by toilet water, tap water or even Perrier but by a living water that flows from the inside out, springing from a God who will never let it run dry. I’d be a fool not to continue following him.

”My feet have closely followed [the Lord’s] steps. I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.” (Job 23:11a,12a)

Not as it seems… Part I

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Mom knew how to take the initiative, even as a little girl. Born in 1912, she was only four years old when on a stifling summer day her mother entertained several women from their church. Little Evelyn loved having company and had helped her mother prepare the parlor for their guests. When the women arrived, Evelyn was cordial, greeting each one with her best smile.

Knowing she enjoyed being mama’s helper, her mother asked if she’d like to bring a glass of cool water to each lady as they chatted together. Evelyn was delighted and hurried off to comply. Running back and forth to the parlor, she carefully delivered one glass of water to each appreciative woman.

After the guests had gone, Evelyn’s mother expressed gratitude for her willingness to bring so many glasses of water to the company.

“It was easy,” Evelyn said. “I just got them out of the toilet.”

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Things are not always as they seem. Those cool glasses of water wouldn’t have been quite so refreshing, had the truth been known. Just like the ladies in the parlor, all of us size up situations based only on what we see rather than waiting for all the facts.

As an example, quite a few people have assessed my living situation in Michigan to be an isolated, lonely arrangement unsuitable for a new widow. But the fact is, I’m living here as a result of God’s decision rather than my own.

My first experience with summers in Michigan came long before I met Nate. My parents, along with an aunt and uncle, purchased a small cottage only six blocks from the one I now live in, back in 1946. Mary, Tom and I, along with four cousins and countless pals, made memories in that little three bedroom house until we were bursting at the seams with seventeen children between us, several in-law children and the beginnings of grandchildren. It wasn’t difficult to decide we needed a second cottage!

Nate and I bought our current home ten years ago, continuing to enjoy the same childhood beaches and neighborhoods but adding more space (and especially beds) to the mix. Basing in Chicago, we wished we could spend more time in Michigan and had talked about retiring here one day, away from Chicago traffic, high taxes and the hurried lifestyle we’d always known.

Putting our Chicago area home on the market in 2004, when the real estate bubble was still rising, we hoped to sell quickly. But not many buyers were interested in a 100 year old farm house when new homes were being built on every street. A year passed, then two and three, without a sale. Although we did have several contracts, the economy was tanking, and potential buyers couldn’t secure financing.

Meanwhile Nate’s back began to flare up, and he found himself working less and less. In 2008, we decided to put the Michigan cottage on the market, too, eager to sell one house or the other, unsure of what his health future would be. The outcome would be in God’s hands, and we were willing to live in whichever house didn’t sell. (See Part II, tomorrow.)

”My steps have held to your paths [O Lord]. My feet have not slipped.” (Psalm 17:5)

Seeds of Faith

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As long as I can remember, I’ve loved Jesus. That’s not to say I didn’t set him aside as a young woman when the rest of life seemed more exciting than he did. But something happened when I began having children. The responsibility of caring for another person overwhelmed me, and I felt ill equipped for the task. That’s when I turned back toward Jesus, in need of his help.

It was the beginning of a rich relationship full of wisdom (all his) and joy (all mine). I often felt then (and feel now) unworthy of his attention and will never understand what motivates him to accept me, failures and all, but he does.

As a child I was told Bible stories and coaxed to memorize Scripture. Mom sometimes even paid us to do so. She knew no amount of money would equal the priceless value of “owning” God’s Word. Both Dad and Mom regularly planted seeds of faith in their children and were also careful to tend them.

Even so, I remember coming to a place of doubting Jesus, then being rescued by a necklace Mom had given me. It was a pendant sphere of clear Lucite with a single seed enclosed in the middle. Supposedly it could grow a mustard tree. Mom had given it to me while referencing the story Jesus told about the problem of a small faith and the solution of a big God. We needn’t have a large supply of faith in order to be part of his family or included in his kingdom. He’s the one who did the big job of securing our salvation. We’re the saved; he’s the Savior. My childhood necklace reminded me that small was good enough.

Since then I’ve learned that although my necklace does hold a real mustard seed, there’s no such thing as a mustard tree, only mustard plants. And of course there are many seeds smaller than the mustard seed, such as carrot, strawberry or poppy seeds. Jesus was simply making a point to his listeners using visuals with which they were familiar. He used the mustard seed, because mustard grew everywhere and was prolific. If someone planted one mustard seed, they knew they would soon have millions.

As a child I loved my mustard seed necklace. It felt like I was wearing a little bit of the Bible around my neck, and I knew the Bible was important. Although that piece of jewelry is over 50 years old, it still hangs with my other necklaces, and it’s still a reminder of biblical truth. I’m thankful that when Jesus-seeds are planted in the life of a child, a tiny faith can grow into a sizeable one the same way one mustard seed can grow to fill many meadows.

”Then Jesus asked, ‘What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches.’ “ (Luke 13:18-19)