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Failing to Succeed?

Posted on September 29, 2013 by Margaret

I’m a terrible clothes shopper and hate to go to malls. Set me in a women’s clothing store with an assignment to find a new outfit, and I’d rather flee the country.

Maybe that’s why my closet is full of outdated items, most of which are older than a decade. Modernizing is just too complicated, not to mention time consuming, expensive, and sometimes humiliating. My failure rate is high.

As I see it, there are 9 clothes-shopping stresses:

Giving up several hours of precious time.
Finding a store with clothes designed for 60-somethings.
Getting acquainted with a store’s layout and inventory.
Pawing through endless racks of clothes.
Choosing a variety of items to try on, hoping they’ll morph into a cute outfit.
Squaring off with a full length mirror in a harshly lit dressing room.
Creating 3 piles of clothes in that small space: (A) Possibles; (B) Rejects; (C) Needing other sizes or colors.
Re-finding the racks of other sizes and colors.
Repeating 1 – 8.

Even after all that, the whole convoluted process may be fruitless, requiring a 1-9 do-over on a later date. It’s a mystery to me how so many women find this process enjoyable.

Today I found myself in yet another massive mall making a third attempt to find a business-casual outfit that I’ve needed for some time. I put it off as long as possible, not wanting to spoil an otherwise good day. Friends suggested I try a place named Chico’s.

When I stepped into the store, a little flame of hope flickered. A dozen other women my age were working the racks, chatting over great sale prices. Maybe this would be my one-stop-shop.

Our lives are full of things we don’t especially want to do, not necessarily dramatic ordeals but just everyday tasks. We know that if we want to act like responsible adults, we must tend to them. Shopping for clothes is only one of hundreds, and though we might tackle these jobs in fits and starts, for the most part they get done.

But what about spiritual tasks?

Are we excited to push other things out of the way to make room for them? Or do we look at things like prayer and Bible reading as duties we “must tend to?” Do we approach them with eager expectation, or do we see them as non-obligatory chores?

Today I left Chico’s with a bag of goodies, but that’s not usually the case after my shopping excursions. More often than not, I finish empty-handed.

When I go “shopping” for more of God, however, I’m always successful, 100% of the time.

“Acknowledge God…. and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you.” (1 Chronicles 28:9)

Laying Blame

Posted on September 15, 2013 by Margaret

Every year I take a few plane trips and usually opt for non-stop flights. On one recent trip, however, my itinerary called for a stop, though I didn’t need to change planes. Just before landing, the flight attendant made an announcement:

“Since we’ll only be on the ground for 17 minutes, our advice for those continuing on with us is to stay on board. Remain seated until the others have de-planed, and then if you would, please move to the front of the plane while the clean-up crew works.”

The announcement applied to only 11 of us, and we did as asked. When our pilot emerged from the cockpit volunteering to help clean, we watched him move in and out of the rows picking up newspapers, candy wrappers, and empty water bottles.

In a few minutes he came back to the front where our little group was standing and said, “How many of you own Smart Phones?” Most of us did. “Would you be willing to hold them up for me?”

We all dug them out of purses and pockets, except for a young girl of about 12 or 13. After rummaging through her back pack, she said, “Mine’s gone! It’s gone!”

The captain then brought his hand forward with a Smart Phone in it. Before he could say anything, the girl grabbed the phone with a snarl and said, “You took my phone!”

A woman next to her touched her arm and said, “Oh, no, honey. He found your phone.”

How quick we are to lay blame. The minute the girl realized her phone was missing, her next thought was, “Someone took it!” When she saw it in the pilot’s hand, she connected the dots and assumed it was him.

We adults can be pretty quick to play the blame game, too. Humanly speaking, when hurtful things happen, our knee-jerk response is often, “Who’s responsible for this?” Sometimes we can (and even should) point a finger, but oftentimes we can’t.

But if we can’t satisfy our desire to blame someone we know, we can always blame God. Interestingly, he is sometimes the one behind the difficulties and disasters we experience, but rather than blaming him, we ought to give him credit.

That’s because whatever comes to us (good or bad) is intended for our spiritual growth. Instead of pointing fingers of blame, we ought to reach for him with arms wide open.

Actually, we shouldn’t blame God for anything, but amazingly, he takes the blame anyway, not for anything he did but for all our bad. He died as a sinner in our place. Once we take that in, just like the young girl on that airplane, we’ll melt into a puddle of contrition. Instead of laying blaming, we’ll say the only appropriate thing: “How can I ever thank you enough?”

“People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed?” (Proverbs 19:3)

Which is best?

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Margaret

This morning outside my bedroom window I saw the usual leafy-green canopy but something else caught my eye: a branch of bright yellow leaves. Like it or not, fall is coming. I’ve always been a summer girl, but I guess every season has its grandeur, and it’s wise to recognize that.

Lately I’ve been trying to do the same with the seasons of life, recognizing the positives of each stage. Most of us have to fight wanting to be in a season other than the one we’re in, starting with childhood. Which of us didn’t long to be one year older than we always were? The privileges and perks of older ages seemed like carrots in front of a horse, forever just out of reach.

At the other end of years we wish we were young again, facing the future with what we’ve learned in the decades since. Mom used to say, “I’m a 25-year-old trapped in a 90 year old body.” If wishing made it so, she’d have “stuck” at 25.

Why is it so hard to find contentment where we are? The answer is in a great quote I read the other day: “We need to get rid of expectations that don’t fit into this season of life.” It’s all about accurate expectations.

When we’re 45 years old and (as Dad used to say) “running the rat race,” it’s logical our time will be tightly budgeted, we’ll be working long hours, and our commitments will be many. When we’re 85, we’ll have to figure out how to use all the extra time we have. Different seasons require different expectations.

Wise people plan ahead for seasonal changes by figuring out what realistic expectations they should have. Then they think and act accordingly.

All of us have seen people unwilling to admit which life season they belong to. The other day at the beach I saw a woman close to the end of her winter age-season. She was wearing a micro-bikini, and it was difficult not to stare. I wished I could have heard the logic behind her choice of swimwear, but surely it was somehow connected to false expectations.

Scripture has interesting examples of God’s instructions to people in different seasons of life. For example, in Numbers 8 he says, “Men twenty-five years old or more shall come to take part in the work at the tent of meeting, but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer. They may assist…. but they themselves must not do the work.” (vv. 24-26)

That wasn’t to say God’s plans for the 50 year olds weren’t good ones though. He was just stating that he expected different things from people in different seasons. It wasn’t about right or wrong, good or bad, superior or inferior but only about different expectations.

As for those yellow leaves outside my window? They hint that a new season is about to arrive. And my expectation is that it’ll be beautiful.