Category Archives: God’s plans for us

The Best Kind of Love

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Yesterday at Walmart I was drawn to the glitter and glitz of a Valentine card display. Fantasizing about which one I might have chosen for Nate, I picked up several that said, “For my husband.” Although he didn’t particularly relate to the preprinted messages in greeting cards, he loved the words I wrote at the end and saved every one. Some he took to the office and taped to his door.

As I smiled remembering his unabashed devotion, my attention was drawn to a couple at the other end of the card rack. They had ten years on me and were nothing special to look at with his high-water pants and her 1970’s “Stretch ‘n Sew” slacks. What made me notice them, however, was their behavior toward each other. For a couple in their seventies, probably married 50 years, it was exceptional.

While I pretended to look at the cards, the two of them gradually made their way down the row, taking samples out of the rack, reading them, putting them back. She’d say, “Oh honey, look at this one. Would that be good for Sara? It’s funny.”

He’d read it and chuckle. “You’re right. That’s funny! Let’s look some more.” 

As they moved closer to me, I could hear they were hunting for grandchildren-Valentines, searching for the perfect message in each one. Most impressive, though, was the good time they were having with each other.

“Aw, look at this one. It’s so sweet, just like Anna.” The wife would agree, yet they’d keep hunting, savoring their task.

“How ‘bout this, dear? Eight cards for $4! Should we get that instead?” he’d say.

“Maybe we should buy one expensive card for each family and include the kids in those. What do you think?”

“They’d think we took the easy way out,” and he’d laugh.

These two captivated me, and I watched until my periphery vision got sore. God meant marriage to be just like them, give-and-take interest in each other’s opinion. Whether choosing a greeting card or buying a home, their M.O. would work well.

I once heard Howard Dayton, head of a financial ministry, tell the story of how listening to his wife’s point if view on an investment saved him tens of thousands of dollars. He urged husbands to seek their spouse’s opinions on money matters, even if their women had no investment savvy.

James Dobson, head of a ministry to families, agreed, counseling wives to consider their husband’s ideas whether or not it made sense at the time, because God uses husbands to funnel wisdom to wives.

Despite my not having a husband anymore, watching this older couple was delightful. They modeled exactly what the experts described. But from my vantage point, having lost my partner, I wondered how they’ll handle the grief that one day will come to one or the other when death arrives. Shared shopping trips will end, along with every other togetherness-event.

But that’s the cost of a good marriage… and it’s worth every emotional cent.

“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

Hidden Away

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The other day when Mary and I were walking onto the beach near my home, we noticed a bulge in the snow-covered dune about twelve feet long and four feet wide. What could be hiding there?

This beach is completely empty during three out of four seasons, used only during July and August. Summertime families store small sailboats and kayaks on the beach, tethered to posts driven into the sand. Netted bags of toys, low beach chairs and sand buckets are left, too, a testimony to the honest character of those using the beach.

Summer swimmers have no formal supervision, no life guard on duty, and we’re all fine with that. But what would happen in an emergency? Could people on the beach quickly reach a drowning swimmer if necessary? Would they be willing to dive in and try?

Thankfully that scenario hasn’t come up, but if it did, we have an ace in the hole: the lump under the snow. It’s an aluminum row boat lying bottom-up on the sand, currently out of sight like a hibernating bear. But come summer, the snow will melt and the boat will show itself, reminding us we have a way to rescue someone in crisis.

God sometimes operates in a similar way. Although he has a variety of solutions for our various rescue needs, he often keeps them covered until we’re desperate. (At least that’s what it seems like from our perspective.) When we’re desperate, we call to him for help, and that’s the key. If we don’t call, he may not rescue.

A recurring theme in Scripture is people recognizing their need for help, then acknowledging that God is their Source for it. If we search for help everywhere but in him, he’ll let us try to get it done on our own. When we acknowledge we can’t make it apart from him, he comes out of hiding.

Last fall when Jack and I walked the beach, I noticed a blue kayak still lying on the sand near its post well after all the other boats and items had been removed. I thought someone would eventually come for the kayak, a pricey-looking boat.

As September and October came and went, the autumn winds picked up, and gradually the kayak filled with sand. By Thanksgiving it was all but covered over, and before the first snow fell, it was completely hidden.

Now, it’s not even a lump. I believe I’m the only one who knows it’s buried there. If the owner arrived to retrieve his boat today, he’d sweep his eyes across the beach and say, “Someone must have taken it.” To his understanding, it would be gone.

Is this what happens to God’s rescue if I don’t appeal to him? Does he keep his plans a secret? I believe he often does. Knowing this, I’m motivated to dialog with him, cry out to him, recognize his role as my rescuer on a daily basis. He’s invited me to do this, specifically mentioning me by name, and I’d be a fool not to accept this invitation.

And in July, if someone posts a notice looking for a blue kayak, I’ll know what to do.

 

“I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” (Isaiah 45:3)

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

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God knew what he was doing when he led Nate and I to our Michigan cottage. Unbeknownst to us, the couple right next door would rescue us again and again. Bob and Linda have taken it upon themselves to help widows and others who need… well… just about anything.

Linda cooked monster-sized meals for our whole family throughout Nate’s days of illness. Then after he died, she lovingly coaxed me back into the world of people by repeatedly inviting me to her Bible study.

Bob is a jack of all trades and cheerfully tackles any problem with gusto. He often partners with his friend Gunnar, and the two of them make work look much like play. I’ll never forget the day they came to help when our power went out, the only house in the neighborhood to go dark. After trying all the usual tricks with our old fuse box, they discovered the power line from the house to the street had been strangled by tree bark. Thanks to their creative thinking, my power was restored that same hour.

 

Yesterday afternoon Bob and Gunnar brought my kitchen into the 21st century by installing a dishwasher. After five weeks of dishes-by-hand virtually around the clock while the 15 of us were together, I determined before the relatives returned, I’d have a dishwasher. It’s also possible the endless sickness we passed back and forth during those weeks would have been wiped out by sterilized dishes. At least that was a good excuse to go appliance shopping.

As they worked, I learned that installing a dishwasher requires creative plumbing and electrical skills, as well as a rib cage strong enough to lean on the sharp edge of an under-sink cabinet for a long, long time.

Occasionally I heard them say, “Oh oh,” or “What about this?” as they worked half-in and half-out of the cabinet. But when I asked if there was a problem, they laughed and said, “It’ll all be fine.” And it was.

The first time Bob and Gunnar fixed something for us years ago, I remember saying, “Thanks for the help. I’m sure you’d rather do other things with your afternoon.”

“This is what we like to do,” Bob said, an interesting answer.

Because they’ve solved problems for me again and again, I know it’s true. These men are retired, but not really. They’ve just shifted their work focus. Both love the Lord wholeheartedly and spend a great deal of time volunteering at the church and on outreach projects near and far.

They’ve been first responders to disaster scenes all over the world during their “retirement”, doing whatever needed doing when they got there. Although they’re happy to help the widow next door, they keep their passports handy, too. 

I see them as the hands and feet of Jesus, putting the interests of their neighbors ahead of their own. And best of all, they view the entire world as their neighborhood.

Lucky for me, today they chose to make it a beautiful day in my neighborhood.

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself’.” (Matthew 22:37-38)