I was born to a wise father. He was “seasoned” when he married at 42 and up to that point had lived a life of integrity while overcoming obstacles. Age plus integrity plus overcoming equals wisdom.
Dad told us he never thought he’d live long enough to see his children graduate from high school, much less college. Children-in-law and grandchildren were off his radar, yet God blessed him with 92 years of near-perfect health and sound thinking. He saw his kids graduate from college, marry and deliver 15 of 17 grandchildren. Not bad for a late bloomer born in 1899.
Dad loved learning, and no subject was off limits. Coupled with a sharp memory, his accumulated knowledge was formidable. An architect and structural engineer by day, he became my high school math tutor by night. I struggled with algebra to the point of tears, which is when I’d look for Dad, knowing he’d never refuse to help me.
His tutoring, however, was torture. Approaching him for one quick answer, my heart would sink as I watched him thumb backwards through the textbook to “see where you’ve been.” He’d get so enamored with the numbers it took 20 minutes just to get back to the current assignment. And as with all wise people, he wouldn’t give out answers. Instead he tried to increase my understanding, and beyond that, to drag me into a happy relationship with math. (Negative on both counts.)
But oh, how I admired Dad. He wasn’t emotional like I was and didn’t burst into tears when life became overwhelming. He tackled problems methodically, demonstrating a skill that was foreign to me. When I needed wise guidelines for choosing a husband, Dad was ready and actually had a list: 1) Christian beliefs, 2) a sense of humor, 3) good health, 4) respect of family, 5) love of children. In the end, I married a man who passed muster on all five points. As a matter of fact, the man I chose was much like Dad.
Although I never had to solve another algebra problem after marrying, I often went to Nate for his opinion on other matters. He was endlessly patient and, just like Dad, would never turn me away. He often thought about our discussions long after they were over, coming up with additional possibilities days later. With all he had to worry about in the business world, I considered that to be true love.
When Nate died, death muzzled him. Although I have his past counsel and can guess how he might advise me about new dilemmas, the absence of his opinion is one of my greatest losses. As with most couples, we were opposites, and contemplating his flip side to my viewpoint always tempered what I would do next. His words coaxed me to think out of my box and gave me a level head.
Sometimes when I asked Nate for counsel, his advice was so far from my opinion, I struggled to believe that following it would be wise. But I’d remember that in the Lord’s couple-economy, the man was given headship and would, as a result of this God-established order, be given God’s wisdom, which he would then pass on to me.
If I followed Nate’s recommendation even when it seemed contrary to my own, things often turned out well. Knowing God protects and nurtures what he’s established, this shouldn’t have surprised me.
When Nate got cancer, I stopped asking for his opinion four weeks into the six he had left. The disease had begun superimposing its influence over his ideas, and I never knew which voice was talking. Thankfully I’m surrounded by other wise guides who’ve stepped willingly into the counselor role for me, again and again.
And at the top of them all is the Lord himself, our “wonderful Counselor.” (Isaiah 9:6) He’s already been my caring Father and heavenly Husband, so I have every reason to believe he’ll come through as my proficient Advisor in days to come. And just like Dad and Nate, I know he will never turn me away.
“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and the one who comes to me I will certainly not cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me.” (John 6: 37-38)
Every time I read a new post, I miss Papa more. I love you Midge. So much.
These glimpses into your family history are such a gift and yes, you are wise to appreciate the heritage God gave you and the integrity which lined your early path to life. But as with all incredible gifts, their loss is that much more keenly felt. A godly father, a wise and loving husband are 2 things most women on this planet will never experience. 18 years in Africa finally jolted me into the reality that people like you and me have been blessed…to be a blessing. And you are a blessing through these glimpses into precious family history. The picture of Nate and your Dad looks like one of FDR’s Fireside Chats….warm, homey and relaxed. Pull up a chair and ask for help with your Math problems! Well, one of my main Math problems now is how can God expand a heart and home from 2 people to 3. And not just “somehow” but triumphantly. I suspect deep down it’s really not a math problem at all! But He is so good that He will lead me on from one level to another and then the mist will clear and the fog will lift and voila! He will come through for me, and enable me to do not my own will, but the will of Him who sent me.
Oh, Margaret, you are hurting my heart… but you’ve also made me laugh out loud. I’d rather teach English anyways. 🙂 Thumbing back to “see where you’ve been,” I say that all the time, and now I’ll never be able to say it again with a straight face. Perhaps I can help you bone up and send you a few worksheets on oh, slope, systems of equations… breaking out in hives yet?
I’ll have to read your real message later, as I am too hung up on the math part now!
Handsome picture of Nate there.
Long live Pythagoras,
Terry 🙂
Ironically enough, I am fairly certain that above Mrs. Davis was indeed my math teacher at Hersey High School…& I can vouch for her on the offer to send a few worksheets…for this current English teacher was the recipient of many many extra math worksheets…
Thanks for the post – I, as always, enjoyed reading it.
Well- hi Jeanne! See what a good English teacher you are now as a result of all of those worksheets? 🙂
Algebra defeated me, too. As long as it’s numbers, I can add, subtract, multiply, and divide – all I need to balance the checkbook, and take care of the income tax return. However – when they begin throwing letters into the mix – forget it. What’s 2x anyway? These days it’s a size in the Women’s department. Anyway – I was very thankful that my kids got it, and didn’t need me to help them.
Now that I’ve read this in earnest, since you are not confident with numbers, I need to point out that you miscounted- there are actually four wise advisors in this blog- you forgot yourself. Thank you for wisdom on so many points.
By the way, you gave us a balanced equation in paragraph one and demonstrated understanding of the concept of negatives in paragraph four. A+
Terry
P.S. Martye- you’re a real comic!
Ah… algebra! I tried pre-algebra, algebra, summer school and algebra again the next year. No luck. Couldn’t get past a “D” second semester even with a loving, wise, patient and funny brother who was a 4.0 math major in college and valiently tried hard to tutor me. Such wonderful memories from so long ago. Thanks Margaret!
Your father was a very wise man, and so was your husband. I’m also very blessed to be married to a wise man. And it is a great blessing that God has given our daughters smart husbands who are growing into wise men.
We must be soulmates in algebra, Margaret. It just about killed me to take it as a prereq to get into nursing classes. The prof actually told me that I had a learning deficit with algebra….equations, graphing, rational, irrational and real numbers. They all seemed irrational to me. God provided an unusual way for me to be able to pass the course. I had a conflict on the day of the final exam. It was also the first day of my chemistry class–a one semester course crammed into one month of classes and labs. The chem prof said that I could not afford to miss even one class, esp. the first one. So I was allowed to take the algebra final exam in a testing center, and could take as long as I needed to finish the test. It took me four hours! That enabled me to get through the entire test and get enough right answers to pass. If I had taken the exam during the two-hour alloted class time, I would have failed it. By the way, chemistry was a huge challenge but I got an “A” for the course. How I birthed a daughter, Lisa, who has a degree in Physics from Wheaton College is still a mystery. I’m just thankful that I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. Who needs algebra?
Good counsel, wisdom beyond , beyond, Margaret. I’ve missed your blogs since getting off facebook, until last night when Linni told me how to ‘catch up’..and as difficult as it appears to be – thinking ahead – HE..already knows the plans HE has for you…will prepare you, promote, provide, and protect…one simple question to ask Him each morning.”Father, what would You have me do this day..show me your way…I will obey”…what peace, what and adventure…what joy…in KNOWING HIM!! See ya soon, blessings, patzian