The sad truth is, I’m attached to my stuff. I’m especially bound to pictures, journals and anything marked “memorabilia.” If I was younger, this wouldn’t be a problem, but because I’ve accumulated 65 years of mementos, I’m continually battling a storage predicament.
Three years ago as we contemplated a move, I was determined to eliminate at least one-third of everything we owned. One cold night in our garage, I sat on a short stool facing four loaded file cabinets, an eight-drawer challenge.
Pulling a giant garbage can next to me, I opened drawer #1, a row of alphabetized manila folders three feet deep. It was easy to toss out papers referring to cars we no longer owned or pet info about dogs long-gone. And it was clear I should keep health records, insurance policies and the passport file. But many of the folders shouted, “I’m memorabilia! Keep me!”
Passing up one folder after another, I knew I had to get ruthless. More files needed to go. Then I came to a bulging folder that took up 5” of drawer space. Its tab said, “Nate’s notes.”
Nate had been faithful to pen weekly notes to our older children on 3 x 5 cards, summarizing family news and offering encouragement. It was his way to stay connected when they were far from home, and the kids have kept most of their notes. But they weren’t the only ones getting cards.
He was an early riser, usually before 5:00 am, and I slept till 6:00. Often he left for work before I made my way to the coffee pot, and I’d find a note propped there for me:
“Remember to pick me up at the train, 6:37 — car is in the shop.”
“I love coffee, and I love you.”
“11 degrees – Do you know the whereabouts of my gloves?”
Each card was dated, and all were signed, “Love, Nate.”
That night in the garage, I lifted the overstuffed folder from its place and debated what to do. The space it took in the file cabinet would house a dozen other important folders, and I knew I should be ruthless.
Nate was in good health then, no sore back and no cancer. More notes would be written, I figured, probably many years-worth. Soon I’d have another 5” file filled with his meaningful words.
And in one swift move, I threw them all away.
Three years later, we learned Nate was terminally ill, and my mind traveled back to that night in front of the files. Realizing I would never receive another note made me ache to undo my mistake. Oh how I’d treasure those cards now!
So here I am today, in the basement with another garbage can at my side. What do I keep? What do I toss? I no longer trust my judgment. When I asked the Lord what to think, he brought Nate’s death scene to my mind. The sum total of what mattered then had nothing to do with pen and ink or any other earthly possession. It came down to Nate and God. And after those last breaths, the only “things” that mattered were the ones he’d stored in heaven.
I believe the Lord was telling me to let the notes (and my bad decision) go. He was reminding me that one day it’ll come down to just God and me, and on that day, nothing in my basement will matter at all.
“Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.” (Matthew 6:20)
Margaret, that is EXACTLY my thoughts as Steve’s mom died. Nothing mattered except her faith in Christ. Not what she owned, nor what she had said or done. Just faith.
I just found out that my Margaret is engaged! I am hoping to be able to give her lots of the stuff in the basement I have been saving for “when the kids move into their own place…”
I am attached to my stuff, too. I am praying for you!
I am attached as well Margaret. 17 moves have helped get rid of things not needed. However, those special memories, papers of the children, gifts they made, letters from my Dad and Mom, those I treasure. However, being attached and having them own me, are two different things. I could get rid of many things and probably will in the next move. For now, it is OK. Some things your children may enjoy going through when God calls you home(of course He may come at anytime and nothing will really matter). We loved my Dad’s love letters to Mom and her cards to him, etc. So think about your children’s enjoyment and memories.
Praying for you during these days and thank you for this blog and for my friends who are blessed and encouraged from your walk and your Lord. love Beth
Good morning Margaret – one of our youth pastors shared in a sermon once that we need to remember it’s all going to burn. That gave me a whole new outlook on “things”. I also save notes from David – as they are few and far between and I have found and safely stored the ten letters he wrote me while we were dating almost 30 years ago now. Thanks for your blog today and the good reminder about what really matters. Hugs from across the state, Judy
Wonderful words of encouragement and so very true. Thanks for the reminder.
These blogs are such good reminders for me to sort and toss too. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. May the Lord help each of us to have our priorities in order, putting what’s important in first place… trusting and obeying Him.
I totally agree with the things the ladies above have said…..I thinkit’s best to pray over the ‘sentimental’ things…ask your children about them…and ‘go with God’s advice’. Who knows what He has in store for the rest of your journey here on earth…and he may be prompting you to ‘downsize’ in degrees…and that’s a good thing. You will just KNOW..when it’s time to dispose of what..I believe…God bless you !!
Each time our family moved, we tossed away “chaff”. When Mom and Dad moved from a 4 bedroom home into a 2 bedroom apartment the enormous amount of stuff became apparent. Now Mom is in a two person room in an assisted living complex with only a 8 X 10 area to call her own. I have had to keep reminding myself that it’s only stuff and not stuff that matters eternally. This is a difficult lesson.
I wanted to give my husbands clothes away after his death, but one of my children were astonished that I would want to do that. I told her that there are many men in the world that could use these clothes and can’t afford them. So, I proceeded anyway to donate them to the Salvation Army. But, even after I did, there was consternation at what I had done.
Margaret,
I left a message for you from the Revive Our Hearts broadcast that you did this week. (April 1, 2016)
I have been reading your blog – starting with the first post and am now at this one.
I can certainly sympathize with you concerning sentimental things!! My parents kept virtually nothing from my childhood except a few pictures. So, I went overboard keeping things from our children and married life.
Thank you for this wonderful and encouraging blog.