Frightened of Eternity

My calendar has an orange-lettered name on today’s date: “Aunt Agnes.” Her name is in parentheses, though, indicating she’s passed away. Aunt Agnes died 30 years ago and would have been 97 today, had she lived. I decided to keep her birthday on the calendar, as a reminder of someone we all loved.

Since Aunt Agnes died, there’s been a great deal of orange ink added to my calendar, the births of many babies and the addition of many friends’ birthdays. Some squares have two or even three names written on them, and in recent years I’ve been adding orange names to the calendar on the death days of people precious to us, too. If I live to be an old lady, will there be any empty squares left?

Most of us keep track of life by our calendars, and it’s hard to imagine a future time when we’ll no longer need them. But Nate and Aunt Agnes are living in a calendar-free environment along with millions of others, and one day we’ll be there, too.

At the moment of death, times comes to a screeching halt, a truth we have trouble internalizing. None of us has ever known life outside of time. Everything we do depends on the day-night cycle of 24 hours: sleeping, eating, working and taking out the garbage.

When we no longer have access to a clock or a calendar, how will we know what to do when? And won’t we forget some very important dates?

I’ve been frightened thinking about eternity, not about the afterlife in general but about not having a way to mark time. God made all of us time-sensitive. Its possible Adam and Eve were the only two people who didn’t give time a thought, although they did experience day and night, morning and evening. Once we die, even those general guidelines will disappear.

Back in the sixties, during the Viet Nam War, POWs found ways to mark off their days in captivity, even if it was just a dot on the wall. We all want to know where we stand. Yet from ages past, Scripture has taught that we’re eternal beings, meant to live forever. In our heart-of-hearts we know that, but have we embraced it?

More often than not we ascribe calendar characteristics to heaven. We say, “Grandma has celebrated five birthdays with Jesus now,” or “Dad has enjoyed 19 Christmases in paradise.” This we understand. But from their perspective, heaven’s citizens know we’re talking nonsense.

On several occasions I’ve sat quietly and meditated on the word “eternal”, trying hard to take in its meaning and begin thinking biblically. But each time it’s been very unsettling. There’s always more… and more… and more.

One of the verses to “Amazing Grace” makes me nervous:

  • When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
  • Bright shining as the sun,
  • We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
  • Than when we’d first begun.

This scenario doesn’t compute for me. It does compute for some people, though, Aunt Agnes and Nate among them.

I guess the only way to cope with this mystery is to entrust it to God’s keeping, knowing he’ll explain it to us when the time… is right.

“He has set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11b)

6 thoughts on “Frightened of Eternity

  1. What a happy reminder of Aunt Agnes. She taught me how to braid using a Playdough machine I got from Aunt Joyce as a Christmas gift. I’ll never forget it. She was so kind to me.

  2. Speaking of eternity, I highly recommend reading Randy Alcorn’s book Heaven (if you haven’t done so already). It was the first book I read after Michael went home, and it has been a huge comfort to me. It helped me understand the present Heaven, the Millenium, and the New Earth like never before. I can’t wait to see what the Lord has prepared for us. 🙂

  3. Hi Margaret,
    Interesting thoughts on eternity- we can ponder that for… a long time. 🙂
    I second the endorsement of the Randy Alcorn book noted in Joannah’s comment, as well as the one Joni Eareckson Tada wrote entitled Heaven Your Real Home. She has had lots of immobile years to think about that and her meditations are rich.
    There does seem to be some language in Revelation 21 and 22 that suggests the marking of time. Revelation 21:25 refers to the “daytime”- though it also says there will be no night. I don’t know how that one works, except that God Himself will be the source of light- that’s beyond my comprehension, too. Then Revelation 22:2 says the tree of life will yield its fruit every “month.”
    So that’s post earth at the end of the Bible, so to speak. It got me wondering about the beginning before sin. So going back to Genesis it seems God marked time before sin marred the whole thing- the whole evening and morning cycle during creation week. If man had not sinned and all, would we be here on this uncursed earth forever with the same evening and morning cycle?
    Mind-boggling. I guess that’s why Corinthians says our eyes have not seen and our ears have not heard all that God has prepared for us. I’m wondering if we will mark time in some way, just not the way we do now. God is way too mathematical not to have something in place!
    Have a good day while it is still called day!
    Love,
    Terry

  4. Ohhh, I wish I would had the opportunity to meet Aunt Agnes, but I didn’t and now I only got the letters she sent to my grandparents all years…

    I love to keep birthdays and also old birthdays (from relatives and close people to me) in my calendar… I normally use the term, Let me see what my life say, since my life is the calendar.. =)

    Love, Malin

  5. I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with that verse of Amazing Grace…it always leaves me with an unsettled feeling in my stomach.Thank you once again for sharing your perspective on heaven…just yesterday I was telling a friend that your blogs and conversations about heaven are a blessing to me, changing my perspective, leading me to excitedly anticipate heaven rather than be anxious about it. Thank you.

  6. How fun to be connected to you through ” Aunt Agnes.” I remember visiting her apartment a few times with Grandpa Lindstrom. Special memories. How wonderful it will be to reconnect one day with so many loved ones who are already experiencing the joys of Heaven.