Monday I resumed taking the Mekinist / Tafinlar chemo-combo. It amounts to 1 of the Mechanist every other morning and 1 Kafinlar every morning and every night. The last time I was at the ER, I was told, “These are heavy duty drugs. It’s no wonder you have side effects like you do.” 

The thing is: I had 5 weeks with minimal fallout and at the end there, I had 103 degree fevers, headaches, and extreme fatigue. But the other thing is: the pills are killing this cancer like nobody’s business. 

Annso and I are a good team and God is asking something very different from me than from her. She does 90% of the work with our little baby boy and helping me and I pretty much try to exist and follow the doc’s orders as far as rest, pills, and overexerting myself. 

When I started back on the pills the fever came back right away.

I was hoping it would take a few weeks like it did the first time around. I take Tylenol for it but it’s a far cry from actually handling the headaches and fever. Just takes the edge off a little. 

I ask myself, “Can I do this for 6 weeks straight, a week off then another 6 weeks, then evaluate?” There’s always the chance the symptoms back off and that’s what we’re banking on, but who knows. There are no guarantees. But for me, I really have no choice if I want to live. Cancer is still all over my body and would surge back with a vengeance without this treatment.

The other day I saw an embroidered plaque on the wall at the clinic that said, “Fighting since 2007.” I got a queasy feeling in my stomach when I read it. Wow. Fighting for 15 years. Fighting like I am right now for that long… good grief.

On the one hand, that person was probably delivered a death sentence like me… 2-5 years tops and now they’ve been at it for 15. 

I think that’s why God doesn’t tell us the future. We are capable of far more than we think (with his help of course) if we don’t know what’s coming. 

It seems like forever since we moved to Rochester, but like they say with raising kids, “The days are long but the years are short.”

The days do drag on when I feel like this, but I’m thankful we have the solution and IT’S WORKING. I need God like never before and Annso would tell you the same. She just went on her second walk of the day with little Will in that baby carrier just to keep from going crazy. 

I did the first, but wasn’t up for the second. 

We jumped in at a great church with both feet. 

One of my doctors invited me while I laid in the hospital. 

We have small group and meetings with others who have suffered and overcome like me. Those are some of the biggest helps.

Also, many of the things I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous come in handy. 

“One day at a time.” 

“You won’t always feel the way you do today.”

All we can do is keep on duckin’ and swingin’.

Thank you all for your prayers. We need them now more than ever!