My husband is good at giving compliments and has given me hundreds over the years. But the best one, the one that stands above all others, was just three little words.
A visitor to our home, a man, was asking about our family. When he learned I was a stay-at-home mom “just” caring for children, he said, “Oh…. so, she doesn’t work?”
Nate lifted his eyebrows and responded, with an effective pause, “Oh… she works!” Something about the way he said it in that context lifted me like no other compliment.
Mothering is hard, constant and open-ended. It felt good to hear Nate recognize the work of my job. Whether we work outside our homes or not isn’t the issue. If we have children, we’re working with and on them every day. After they’ve grown up and left home, we continue to care, to love, to pray, to work for the benefit of our kids. Much of what we read and hear about motherhood, however, brushes aside our honorable, challenging work with a, “Yeah, yeah, yeah… blah blah blah.”
Recently, I stood in line at a grocery store deli next to a woman with a toddler in her cart. She turned my way and asked, “You got any kids?”
“Seven,” I said, smiling at her little girl. “Aren’t kids wonderful?”
Her response startled me. “Being a mom is totally boring. There’s nothing to do. I just watch TV all day.”
I thought back to my own mothering of young children and can’t recall ever being able to watch TV. There was too much happening with my kids for me to tune out of mothering and tune in to television. There was too much we wanted to do. I suppose children can adapt to a mom’s habits, even if it means leaving her alone as she watches TV. But what about the golden opportunities lost?
We can make of motherhood whatever we want, putting forth massive effort or very little. The good news is, there’s no glass ceiling on the career of motherhood, no CEO holding us back. No one in a corner office discriminates against us when we rise to new levels of excellence in being moms. We can shoot for being the very best.
We’ve all read the long list of what every mom needs to be: teacher, chauffeur, nurse, secretary, inventory manager, recreational director, safety instructor, record keeper, spiritual mentor, nutritionist, cook, play partner, shopper, tutor, counselor, psychologist and more. These tasks can’t be done well while watching TV.
Even though some people think raising children is menial, unimportant, and not real work, we know the truth. It’s the most important job on earth. And in doing it, we have the freedom to set it up any way we want to, a freedom unavailable in most other working positions. May we never tire of pouring ourselves into it with enthusiasm and joy…. and lots of hard work.
What an encouraging post! Thanks Mom. I’m blessed to have such a good example of what motherhood should look like. 🙂
Great post Marni. That’s a good thing for a husband to keep in mind when he feels like ‘doing all the work and she get’s to just stay home all day’.
Also, this sure makes me appreciate all the work that the many, many single mothers have to do as well.
Good post! I especially agree that we continue to mother even when the nest is “empty”. I feel honored to still pray for our boys.
Wow! Marni, thanks for your words of wisdom. There are so many distractions, TV one of them, that can pull us away from our responsibilities. Thankyou for setting the standard so high. I miss you and wish I could be around you more.
Well said Margaret. I used to write down in the occupation area as a “diversified domestic manager” which entails the many jobs we moms juggle.
This morning’s devotional for me was about the 5, 2, and 1 talent. How sad that the woman you met at the grocery store is wasting hers! But how blessed that you multiplied yours, 60, 80, 100 fold through your children!
Thank you! I always told the ones who raised an eyebrow when they realized I was staying home with the kids, that I was fortunate to be able to do it. That usually made them think differently. You are one of two very good role models for mothering that I am happy to know! Thank you for your inspiration!
When I watched you mother your children those many years ago, I always wanted to be just like you if I was given the opportunity from the Lord. You were a wonderful example to many, Mrs. Nyman. Thanks!
Thanks so much, Kim, for your accolades. They are undeserved, for sure.
You have shown yourself to be a fabulous mom! And of course some of my own mothering came from watching your own mom’s fine example, too! So the Lord has blessed us both with many good role models. I’m very thankful! Now I’m watching our children parent their children and am delighting in a whole new phase of life. With one of your children now married, grandparenting may be just around the corner for you, too! (What young, energetic grandparents you two will be!)
Thanks so much for your interest in my blog. It’s fun writing it and always a surprise to realize people are gaining anything from it. You ought to start one, too! You’re a good writer and have a wealth of experience and knowledge you could share. If you write one, I promise to read it!