Complete Dependency

Little Emerald is almost 5 weeks old. She’s gained nearly 3 pounds, which is quite a bit, since she left the hospital weighing only 7 pounds 9 ounces. We’re loving her double chin and dimpled hands, and Birgitta is doing a beautiful job nursing her.

Emerald’s eyes have learned to focus intently now, unlike in the beginning when they would freely cross while looking at nothing in particular. These days, her favorite thing to look at is her mommy’s face. She studies Birgitta’s features as she’s feeding, memorizing every detail with a gaze of complete adoration and feelings of absolute dependency. And when Emerald can’t readily see that face, she’ll crane her neck to do so. Her mother’s presence equates to complete security in Emerald’s mind, and she spends most of her wake-time searching for her and wanting to be close to her.

If Birgitta chose not to feed Emerald when she was hungry, she would gradually lose weight. If she didn’t change her, bathe her, keep her warm, and speak lovingly to her, Emerald would fail to thrive, eventually becoming sick, and finally dying. And yet this little one knows nothing of these dangers, trusting her every need will be met by her mother.

We might say Emerald is blissfully ignorant of life’s many hazards, which positions her perfectly to abandon herself to someone else’s care. And if we carry that image into the spiritual realm, God our Father wants us to have the identical relationship with him, focusing away from life’s hazards and abandoning ourselves to his choices for our lives.

Why is this so difficult? Why do we clutch onto our self-made plans rather than surrendering to the One who can do all things? That’s about as crazy as Emerald trying to dress herself or wash her own hair. It’s probably because we’re well aware of life’s dangers. Giving God the reins (which includes standing back so he can work) is a daily trust-tussle inside our heads.

Surely it’s not because we doubt his capabilities. Nor can it be a question of his wisdom. And none of us distrust the magnitude of his love. It’s just too hard to give ourselves over.

We’d never say out loud that we know better than he does, but our actions often say it. As a result, we’re consumed with worry, we’re loaded with stress, we nurture our fears, and we forfeit hours of sleep trying to manipulate circumstances and people. God looks down at this turbulence and says, “So unnecessary. But if you insist, the consequences will be all yours.”

Precious Emerald sets a ready example for those of us living with her. When she has a need, she cries for her mommy-provider and doesn’t try to solve problems on her own. She’s secure in Birgitta’s arms, gazing at her face, and when she sleeps, it’s the deep, nothing-can-wake-me-up sleep of a trusting soul.

With determination of will, we can be the same way with God.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8)

4 thoughts on “Complete Dependency

  1. What a beautiful picture…I wish we all could simply abandon to God’s secure care, guidance and protection for our lives! I’ll keep praying! Love to you guys! Emerald is so beautiful!!!