Coming Up Short

At my house we’re still working with an ancient fuse box and the glass screw-in fuses. Since we had circuit-breakers at our last house, moving to the cottage brought an electrical learning curve. At first I couldn’t tell if a fuse was blown or good, and it was a guessing game trying to link their power with the area of the house they controlled. But gradually our fuse box and I became friends… until last summer.

My electric water heater would work fine for a couple of weeks, then go cold. I’d head to the basement, replace a couple of fuses, and it would work again, until a few weeks later. One day while at the hardware store buying fuses, I presented the dilemma to the clerk. “Are you using the right number?” he said.

“Yes,” I said, “two of them.”

“No, I mean the number on the fuse. They have different strengths. Check your fuse box. Sometimes it says.”

And sure enough, I’d been using 20’s in two holes needing 30’s, shorting on power to the water heater. After I corrected my error, all was well. If only life’s other shortages were as easy to repair: shortages of sleep, money, patience, energy, wisdom, all kinds of things.

Each of us has felt pinched in specific ways from time to time. For example, every new parent knows about sleep shortages and later learns about patience shortages when their children test them.

Nate and I had financial shortages for many years. Families in other countries find themselves short of food or medicine. People in jobs that require creativity find themselves short of ideas, and those needing physical strength in their work become short of energy.

But the worst deficiency is when we feel shorted by God, that he hasn’t come through like he said he would. We claim his promise to provide for our needs and wonder why we’re short on cash. We put him first, believing he’ll direct us, then wonder why we’re unemployed.

I’ve found it helpful not to look at the current-day shortage but rather at a past provision. It’s the manna principle. God told the hungry Israelites to collect only enough for “today”. If they picked up extra (except before the Sabbath), it rotted.

That’s often how we define our shortages. We say, “I made it through today but know I won’t have enough for tomorrow.”

If we apply the manna principle, we’ll focus on the first half of that sentence rather than the last. Manna always came just before it was needed. Anxiety over “tomorrow’s” food was wasted worry.

Today Skylar asked me for some juice. I knew she’d only want half so filled her cup that much. As I handed it to her, she threw herself on the floor and cried, “No! All the way full!”

I filled it to the top, thinking she must be thirsty, and handed it to her. She said, “Thank you,” and skipped off to play. Later I found her cup. She’d drunk only half.

“The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.” (Ecclesiastes 1:8b)

Making a Good Impression

Bookstore shelves are loaded with parenting titles, but the one I like best is a 1979 book by Anne Ortlund: CHILDREN ARE WET CEMENT. It’s a powerful statement with accurate parenting implications.

When workers poured the concrete for our patio 28 years ago, our five children each pressed their palms into the wet cement, along with a quarter from their birth years. I pressed in a penny dated that year, 1986, next to the line-up of hands, to mark the date those childhood palms were set. As soft as the concrete was when we touched it, shortly thereafter it became rock-hard and has been that way ever since. Without the use of a jack-hammer, the hand impressions are permanent.

As children arrive into our families, they’re soft and impressionable, “wet” with potential. Parenting them is the most important assignment we’ll ever get, a serious responsibility given to us by the Person who created every baby and has specific plans for each life. The way we live in front of them leaves a permanent mark.

While spending time with my grandchildren this week, I’ve seen again how supple the mind of a child really is. Children spend the lion’s share of their waking hours imitating the rest of us. If we open a kitchen drawer, as soon as we close it, a watching child opens it again, following our example.

Little ones don’t need a reason to imitate us. They do it instinctively. We own the power to be examples for good or evil, an enormous responsibility that should cause us to keep our lives clean as we go along.

Modeling well in front of one and two year olds is easy. In front of teenagers it’s more difficult. 

But we do our best, because we want to give our children the strongest possible springboard into adulthood. Despite multiple failures and a list of if-only’s, we keep trying. Knowing we’re being carefully watched is a strong motivator!

As a child of God, I wonder if I’m carefully watching Jesus in the same way. Do I study his life and try to emulate him? Or do I dismiss that possibility, knowing I could never match him? Jesus instructed us to watch what he did, then copy it. Do I?

Of course I’m going to fall short, just as children fail to duplicate adult behavior. But that doesn’t keep them from trying, and the same should be true for me. Although I’ll never be able to exude the fruit of the Spirit as flawlessly as Jesus did, with practice I can improve.

Watching my grandchildren try, fail, and keep trying encourages me to do the same.

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:14-15)

Yakety Yak

One of my greatest joys while in Florida staying with Adam, Linnea and my grandchildren is listening to Skylar Grace talk. Although she’s only 2½, she has the vocabulary of a six year old, using words like project, celebration, cherish and included. Amazingly, she uses them correctly in complete sentences.

If Skylar is conscious, she’s talking. When we’re available to interact, that’s her first choice. If not, there’s the one year old Micah as her audience. If she senses his interest is straying, there are dolls and stuffed animals. She also talks to stones, cups in her play-kitchen, bits of paper, just about anything.

This little girl has something in common with every radio host: she avoids dead air. Her moment-to-moment modus operandi is to keep the words flowing. Her parents patiently participate in the never-ending conversation, but surely there are days when Skylar’s forceful voice wears on them.

As for me, I’m just the visiting grandma, loving every single word. When I call Linnea from my home in Michigan, I hear Skylar’s chatter in the background and crave talking with her. She gets on the phone with me and chats like a mini-adult, and when I hear her, it makes me long to be with her. This week, my wish came true, and we’re talking face-to-face.

My six other kids are getting a treat this week also, courtesy of Skylar. Each night as I post this blog on Facebook, I send a separate message to them entitled: “Skylar Quote of the Day.” Yesterday’s quote came as she intentionally and repeatedly fell backwards into a low ditch near the house. When Linnea asked what she was doing she said, “I’m working on my issues here.”

Today when nap time brought quietness to the house, Linnea and I shared a late lunch and talked about talking. We agreed it’s easy to say more than we should and both feel regret over times when we’ve said too much. Not only have we caused hurt, but our yammering has forced others to be silent. Unfortunately, just like toothpaste out of a tube, words can’t be put back where they came from.

But how can we stop ourselves from over-talking if that’s our tendency? Scripture has the answer: “The kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod of discipline, or shall I come in love and with a gentle spirit?” (1 Corinthians 4:20-21)

More than likely God will discipline us if we keep talking too much, and none of us want that! To help us practice quietness, the Bible describes a perk we’ll receive if we’ll button our lips: “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.”  (Proverbs 17:28) Maybe that’ll motivate us to listen more and talk less.

And as we practice silence, we won’t have to worry about dead air. Skylar can handle that.

”Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few.” (Ecclesiastes 5:2)