Operation Quality Time

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Margaret

When we get together with our California cousins, there may be minimal kissin’ but there’s always lots of huggin’ as we renew relationships. We were raised through our formative years one block apart in the Chicago neighborhood of Sauganash, living in and out of each other’s houses day to day. Our dads also shared ownership of a small Michigan summer cottage, and the 7 of us frolicked on the beach together, bonding like siblings.

When our uncle decided to leave Chicago for a dream job in Los Angeles, our cousin-world shattered while we watched their family pack up and go. But over the years, our 4 parents put forth great effort to keep relationships fresh by arranging for us to criss-cross the country again and again to spend chunks of time together. When I hit the college years, I got to live and work with these sibling-like cousins for 3 delightful summers.

Now, as we all careen through middle age with old age coming into view, our 4 parents have graduated to heaven. But the ties that bind seem more significant than ever. Mary, Tom and I just returned from week in California with these cousins, dubbing our trip “Operation Quality Time.”

Just studying each other’s faces was a reminder that time is rushing along and will one day run out for each of us. Although some of us had to radically rearrange schedules to put 5 free days together, we determined we’d fight obstacles as long as possible in a continuing effort to carve out chunks of togetherness.

So what’s the strong pull? What’s worth plane tickets, car rentals, turning the world upsidedown, and adjusting to a different time zone?

Love.

Everybody likes to spend time with the ones they love. The pull is powerful. But our capacity to love is nothing compared to God’s. He’s drawn to us much like we’re drawn to our cousins but with a far greater intensity and depth. In Scripture he refers to himself as abounding in love toward us, which means overflowing with more love than we could ever absorb.

God describes his love as unfailing, priceless, and purposely directed toward people. He says he’ll love us beyond the end of time and that he’ll never pick and choose to love some and not others. He loves the whole world and will do so throughout eternity.

Now that our California visit has ended, the cousin-resolve to see each other again is strong, because our time together renewed our love.

But God’s love never needs renewing. Thankfully, it remains strong always, in all ways.

“The Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.” (Deuteronomy 7:9)

Divine Strategizing

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Margaret

With age comes wisdom, and at 93, my friend Milton has an abundance of it. Mary, Tom and I are spending 5 days in California with 4 first cousins who hail from Pasadena, Santa Barbara, and Hesperia. In our travels between these dear ones, we had the privilege of spending this afternoon with Milton in Riverside, an hour’s drive inland from Los Angeles. Although he isn’t technically a relative, the two of us are related in the Lord.

Milton and I first became friends after I found myself enamored with his son at 19, well before Nate. Although that dating relationship went by the wayside, in the process I’d made a lifelong buddy of his father, and Milton and I have kept tabs on each other for 47 years.

Today is the second anniversary of Nate’s departure to heaven, and as the hours passed, the significance of November 3^rd was continually on my mind. Milton understood. He’s endured the heartache of losing not one but two spouses, Margie to cancer and Eva to Alzheimer’s. Yet his servant-heart sought no credit for nursing both of them through years of difficult disease.

I asked Milton about the time between his marriages. “What made you decide to marry a second time?”

His words revealed his character. “Well,” he said, smiling broadly, “I look back on that decision and see that God was really the one who made it. He knew Eva would need a husband to help her through Alzheimer’s, and he figured I could do that.” Although it got severe toward the end when she no longer knew Milton or even accepted him as her husband, he was in it for the duration.

Today Milton said something sweet. “You know, God knew you needed to marry Nate, too.” And he was right. God knows what we need ahead of time and strategizes accordingly, laying the groundwork for the decisions we will one day make. Then, when the time comes, he’s ready for every situation and better yet, has made us ready as well.

God knew Milton’s wives would need a strong man to carry them through end-stage traumas, so he brought each couple together at the right time to make that work. And he knew I would need Nate’s stabilizing influence, so he put us into each other’s lives at the right moment to make that work, too.

Today as I thought about Nate’s death, I appreciated my friend Milton’s 93 years of wisdom in pointing out my need for him and how God brought us together. I also was reminded of God’s infinity-years of wisdom and the fact that he offers it freely to all of us as we make important decisions. Just as he guided Milton and me, he’s eager to plan for anyone else who wants to take advantage of the divine strategizing he offers.

”The Lord works out everything to its proper end.” (Proverbs 16:4a)