Monthly Archives: April 2010

Merry Merrilyn’s Funeral

Posted on by

Every human breath has permission behind it… from God. None of us would be able to draw the next one, were it not for his go-ahead.

Our newborn twins in England took their first breaths 40 minutes apart, 48 hours ago. Although Thomas and Evelyn’s little lungs were ready to breathe while still nestled inside Katy, God made sure they didn’t try it too soon, a dangerous risk in their unborn, watery world. But as they were born, I believe their Creator moved each of them to take their first draw of earthly air.

It works the same at the end of life. I’ll never forget having my hand on Nate’s chest as he took those last three breaths before he arrived at his divinely-appointed moment to stop breathing, not one breath too few, not one too many. God says “start”, and he also says “finish”.

This weekend Nate’s brother Ken and I met in the Chicago area to attend the wake and funeral of their first cousin, Merrilyn. Although she’s battled cancer for seven years, in recent weeks she took a sudden negative turn when doctors found cancer in new places, and this time she succumbed.

Merrilyn’s life was full to overflowing with crowds of loving people, and she responded in kind. Her daughters, struggling to maintain composure behind the church pulpit today, shared of their best-friend relationship with their mom and the crushing blow it will be to continue life without her.

Among the pastor’s comments was the fact that Merrilyn was a master gardener: “As she tended her gardens, she also tended her relationships. She planted flowers with her children and then her grandchildren, teaching the uniqueness and value of each plant and transferring those principles to the people in her life.”

Merrilyn’s husband “offered the gift of a song” in his wife’s honor, singing with eyes closed and passion strong as he sang and played his guitar:

“If not for you
My sky would fall.
Rain would gather, too.
Without your love I’d be nowhere at all.
Oh! What would I do
If not for you?”

As he sang, I looked around at those struggling to come to terms with Merrilyn’s death, watching them weep. And I seethed with anger that evil Satan has gotten away with bringing death into God’s once-perfect world. Was the devil laughing at those who were crying today? Such a thing is detestable, but probable.

We had our own weapon, however, to fight back today. The funeral service was dominated by multiple Scripture passages, 13 to be precise. And what we heard refutes everything Satan stands for:

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.”

“I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

“The eternal God will drive out your enemy before you saying, ‘Destroy him’!”

“As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.”

Buried in Merrilyn’s name is the word “merry”, which means full of cheerfulness and joyous in disposition. That was Merrilynn. Through a life of unnumbered hopes dashed, including a cancer that wouldn’t quit, she never lost her merry heart. And though a body becomes useless and eventually loses to death, because of what we read in Scripture, death can be instantly followed by new life in Christ that will last throughout eternity.

”Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life.” (1 Corinthians 15:22)

Name Calling

Posted on by

By becoming parents, we sign on for a million and one unique tasks, some exhilarating, others exhausting. One job that’s an early must for every parent is to name the new baby. Although demanding decisions await, this first duty is a pleasure.

Some parents eagerly name their children after others they love, in a gesture of honor and respect. The hope is that the admired one, the one having a character so strong he/she is worthy of a namesake, will develop an influential relationship with the child.

Often baby names are chosen to link one family member with another as a tribute to the older person. This would include a “junior” or a “I, II, or III.”

Other new moms and dads are all about the meanings of names. This was particularly true in biblical days when parents believed children would live up (or down) to their names. The scriptural Jabez, for example, became famous because he sidestepped this principle. His name meant “borne in pain.” In the only Bible reference to this man, he asked God to keep him from causing pain to others.

I remember our Linnea asking us, as a little girl, what her name meant. Sadly, we didn’t have a good answer. She was named Linnea because we had several other Linneas in the family, and we loved this Swedish name. When we looked it up after the fact, we learned it meant “lime tree,” not particularly noteworthy. (We did redeem ourselves somewhat by discovering a tiny pink flower named “Linnea”.)

The only way the name game can be spoiled is if mommy and daddy can’t agree. When this happens, experts say, “Let the father name the baby, because it’ll bond them together. The mother has been bonding for nine months.”

Nate and I dipped into each of the above methods of naming our seven. While growing up, our kids would say we made an effort to choose the weirdest names we could find. Nate and I chose them all from a Swedish calendar because of our shared Scandinavian heritage and knew their names would grow on them, which they did.

Yesterday I received the glorious call from Hans and Katy announcing the double birth of their not-so-little twins in Manchester, England. There is no greater use of a phone than to communicate the news of new life! When they called a second time to reveal the names, it was nearly as great a thrill. By knowing the names, I began to know the grandbabies. A first step was to write “Evelyn” and “Thomas” on my prayer list, scratching out the anonymous “Baby Girl” and “Baby Boy” written there to this date.

When Hans told me Evelyn’s name, he said, “…after the one and only Grandma J,” my mom. Well put. Evelyn’s middle name, Sarah, is after two remarkable women who share it: Katy’s mum and then Katy herself, as a middle name. The first half of little Evelyn’s name means “giver of life,” and the second half means “beautiful.” As the first daughter in a family of three children, she will give a special kind of life to this Nyman household. Her second name describes exactly how: as a “princess”!

Thomas means, appropriately, “twin”, and he is named after two first-rate role models: my brother Tom and Hans himself, as a middle name. The twin’s middle name, Nathan, means “gift of God” and honors Hans’ father, who passed away five months ago. God took… and he gave. All four of these names are rich with significance and will prompt meaningful conversations with the twins in future years.

Nicholas, their not-much- older brother at 15 months, bears a name linked to two uncles, Katy’s brother Nicholas and Hans’ brother Klaus, whose name is derived from the Swedish spelling of Niklaus. And his middle name, Carl, is shared with my dad, the patriarch of our side of the family. By the way, Nicholas means “mighty in battle” and Carl tells why: because he is “the strong one.” With the twins entering little Nick’s world, he’ll need both might and strength!

My prayer for all three children is that they’ll hear God’s tender call. He’s known their names since before time began and loves them with an everlasting love.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!” (Isaiah 43:1)

Babies!

Posted on by

When our firstborn was eight days overdue, mom was worried. She kept looking at my giant belly and saying, “How is that baby going to safely get out of there?”

Nelson came out just fine, weighing ten chubby pounds. Back then (1973), a mother wasn’t allowed to touch her newly born baby until he’d visited the nursery for identifying, scrubbing and a proper swaddling. After I’d been wheeled from delivery to my regular room, I sat in bed watching the clock, waiting for my first baby visit. Resting my head back and closing my eyes, I heard soft crying. When I peeked, there stood mom at the end of my bed in her hat and coat, looking at me and weeping.

I said, “Why are you crying?”

“I was so worried it wouldn’t all work out,” she said, “and I’m just so glad it did!”

Today I’m the grandma, and it was my turn to worry. Our son Hans and his wife Katy, living in England, were scheduled to have their twins induced today at 9:00 AM as she entered her 40th week of pregnancy. Last night Katy’s email described how she’d been praying she’d go into labor on her own, hoping the babies would come naturally. If not, the doctor would proceed with the induction. It was show time.

How well I remember the day Nate and I learned of these twins. We knew Katy was three months along with a baby when Hans’ call came through to our minivan as we headed for home after a radiation treatment. “How did the ultrasound go today?” I asked.

“Everything was fine,” he said, “except they found a little surprise.”

My mind had already raced through all the negative possibilities by the time he said, “There’s not just one baby in there, but two!”

I squealed with glee and announced the news around the car. After a day of negatives in terms of Nate’s health deterioration, God had chosen, at that moment, to bless with abundance.

The months passed, and today we arrived at the pregnancy’s grand finale, the birth of the twins. I received a text mid-morning from Hans. Katy had indeed gone into labor on her own at 5:00 AM, just hours before the scheduled induction, and was, at that moment, in the thick of it. Instantly I was following mom’s lead and flipping on the worry-switch!

What if there were complications? So many things could go wrong! What would it do to Hans, Katy and the rest of us if the babies didn’t arrive safe and sound? I became a knotted bundle of nerves until the Lord reminded me he would handle the births just fine without my assistance.

Instead of worrying, I  started a time of concentrated prayer, always an effective antidote to my fears. Only a few hours passed before Hans and Katy were on the phone sharing details of the successful natural births and two healthy little Nymans, Evelyn Sarah and Thomas Nathan. Each of the four names honors a different family member, and I like to think that mom (Evelyn) and Nate are as aware of this as Sarah (Katy ‘s mom) and Thomas (my brother) are. It’s remarkable that Nate has had two grandsons named after him in ten weeks time, a joy to my heart.

As Hans and Katy study the faces, fingers and toes of these little ones and marvel at God’s impressive work, the rest of us will eagerly await photos and bits of news about their first days “in the pink.” I’ve apologized to the Lord for worrying so much and not trusting his judgment over mine, and next time, things will be different… won’t they?

“Your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.” (Luke 12:30b-31)