Category Archives: Parenting

What’ll it be?

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When a new baby is born, the parents’ first important task is to assign him or her a name. After that, short of an expensive court procedure, that decision will stand, all the way to the grave. Because the choice is up to mommy and daddy not baby, it’s an important job and should be approached with careful thought.

In biblical days, parents named their children after character qualities or mission descriptions. Once in a while they named them negatively. The Jabez of Old Testament fame, for example, was named “pain” because his birth was excruciating for his mother.

People who name their babies positive things hope they’ll grow up to be what they’ve been named: Charity, August, Grace, Noble, Joy. When named after a respected relative or friend, parents hope their child will emulate their namesake.

A name choice is important to a child but also to God. The names he chose for Jesus were descriptive of his life purpose: “Jesus” meant “Savior,” “Christ” meant “Messiah,” and “Emmanuel” meant “God with us.” Since God demonstrated how to name a baby, we ought to follow suit.

Nate and I named our seven children less meticulously than God did, but we did discuss each one thoroughly. None of our children’s names have negative meanings, and some honor family members. All came off a Swedish calendar, which we thought was clever, since we were both Swedish: Nelson Hamilton, Lars Kristian, Linnea Marta, Klaus Fredrik, Hans Tomas, Louisa Viktoria and Birgitta Mary.

Our daughter Linnea and her husband Adam have just gone through the process of naming their new baby, Autumn Faith. Wrapped up in her pretty name are several important things.

They named her Autumn because most of the momentous events of their lives together have happened in the fall: they committed to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend then, had a September wedding, learned they were going to become parents in the fall after experts said “never,” Linnea’s father’s illness and death occurred in the autumn with all 13 of us together, and nature dresses herself in extreme beauty during Linnea’s favorite season, fall.

Autumn’s middle name, Faith, will be a continual reminder to Linnea and Adam to live focused on all God can do, originating with his gift of faith to them and anyone else who desires it. As Linnea said, “We come to him with our hands open having nothing to offer, and he fills them.”

As we all get used to using Autumn Faith’s new name, we’ll be steadily praying she grows up to have the same strong faith in God that her name represents, not just in the autumn but in every season of every year.

Jesus Christ is… “a name far beyond any name that could ever be used in this world or the world to come.” (Ephesians 1:21)

Wonder of Wonders

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When a woman is 9 months pregnant, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind a baby will soon be born. But when a woman is 9 months and 7 days pregnant, everyone begins to wonder (especially the mother) if she’ll be pregnant forever.

Linnea woke this morning feeling fine on her regular 6:00 am walk but by 7:30 was wondering whether or not today might be D-day. When I came out of my room at 7:45, we chatted about several other things while Skylar and Micah played nearby, and then she brought up the situation.

Since she and Adam were hoping to have the baby in the comfort of their own home this time around, we decided it would be wise to call the midwives, located an hour away. Adam was at work, and the children’s other grandma, their babysitter for the day of birth whenever it arrived, was 45 minutes away.

At 9:00 am Linnea decided she was in labor. By 10:00 Adam was home, the children were gone, but the midwives and doula (Adam’s sister Aron) were still at large. It looked like Linnea, Adam and I would be meeting the baby by ourselves, and although Adam and I shared a few panicky glances, we never let the laboring Linnea see or hear our nervousness. I asked him for their turkey baster (for suctioning) and he whispered, “The midwives don’t do that.” And that was the end of our collective baby delivery knowledge.

At 10:27, the midwife arrived literally 5 seconds ahead of baby Autumn Faith, just in time to make the catch without taking off her jacket or putting on sterile gloves. Linnea, Adam and I simultaneously burst into tears of joy and relief while the midwife calmly took care of business. Aron walked in during baby’s first cry, and the second midwife a few minutes after that.

There is no greater miracle than a baby being brought into the world, and hours later our awe was still intense as we marveled at what had happened.

We wondered how anyone could participate in a birth and separate the process from God himself. Only he could put together what we witnessed this morning. Only he could design the intricacies of a new baby’s body, equipping it to change seamlessly from living in a watery world to breathing air. And only he could establish an eternal soul within that body, creating a person who will live eternally, because he made it so.

Tonight we are still in a collective daze, all of us brimming with good cheer, not just because a child has been born but because we were allowed to participate in the wonder of what God accomplished in our midst. Our celebratory toast included lavish prayers of gratitude, and since the pressure was off, the pregnancy was over, and the baby was safely delivered, a heartfelt Scripture:

“The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul.” (Proverbs 13:19a)

Thank you, Lord.

Doing as I do.

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The old parenting joke in the 1950’s was, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Boxed in by the many catch 22’s of parenting, mothers and fathers wanted to issue the edicts but then have an escape hatch for themselves, a way to be the exception to every rule. Having been a parent for 39 years I get that. But the hard, cold truth of parenting is that our children and grandchildren end up doing as we do, not as we say.

While I’ve been the grandparent live-in at Katy and Hans’ home for a week, I’ve been impressed with the consistency and faithfulness they’ve demonstrated in their parenting. Being a good example is challenging, and as we see children copying us, the pressure to live well mounts. On the up side, it motivates us to “clean up our acts,” admitting that God is probably just using them to gently prod us to fix what needs fixing anyway.

Today I watched for specific teachings Katy and Hans were living out in front of their children. Since Hans had taken the day off, I got to watch them both. Katy emptied the toy bins with an eye to scaling down possessions, giving to the charity shop, and keeping their home well organized, all examples of good modeling.

Hans walked all 3 little ones (on their short legs) 4 blocks to and 4 blocks from the post-box to mail 2 letters, modeling togetherness, exercise, efficiency. Later the children lined up at the window “to watch Daddy work hard” rototilling the vegetable garden. Mommy simultaneously talked about the seeds the little ones could help plant in a few weeks, and the healthy vegetables they’d grow and eat.

Later she brought special toys from upstairs and played with the kids, setting up a mini-electric train, teaching sharing, taking turns and being gentle. She also disciplined unruly behavior and insisted on apologies.

At dinner good manners were encouraged (stop taking food from someone else’s plate, don’t throw food, say please). And at bath time, consideration of another’s wishes not to be splashed was important.

Other modeling included singing, praying, appreciating the kindness of others and lots more. Katy and Hans, along with many other young, hard-working parents I know, are making the most of opportunities to influence for good, exactly as God has encouraged them to do.

They do it out of love for their children and love for the Lord, not begrudgingly but with enthusiasm and good cheer. What they don’t know about today is that by their high quality modeling, they taught Grandma MeeMee a few things, too.

”Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)