The words “unplanned pregnancy” are code for “out of wedlock,” which is what’s happening within my daughter Birgitta right now at 16 weeks pregnant. But “out of wedlock” babies aren’t the only ones that arrive “unplanned.”
Among my own 7 children several were unplanned pregnancies. Five, to be exact. Birgitta herself was unplanned, since I’d had a tubal ligation before she came. Although I eventually had a reversal, Nate and I didn’t know whether or not additional children would come. (Photo: Baby Birgitta)
What’s the difference between planned and unplanned pregnancies?
In reading Scripture we see that children are always considered a blessing, planned or otherwise. When God wanted to reward a woman for righteous living, the best gift he could think of was a baby. And when he was arranging salvation for all mankind, the idea he settled on was to send his Son… as a baby, by way of an unplanned pregnancy.
Babies are extremely important to God, a truth laced throughout the Bible. Caring for the children he sends, especially for their spiritual welfare, should be one of our highest priorities.
Nate and I used to attend a church whose pastor understood this. He spoke to his congregation on “Recruitment Sunday” (when every Sunday school class needed new volunteers) and said, “No adult should be sitting in a class for grown-ups if even one helper is still needed in the children’s department.” He agreed with God’s priorities. We’re to love, instruct, and nurture all children with equal care, since he has his own plans for every life, not just for those who were “planned” by their parents.
Last week a blog reader shared something extra special about our coming baby (on “Timing is everything”):
Hm-m-m,
Just thinkin’…
7 is the perfect number…
7th child having the 7th grandchild…
Thank you, reader, for that smile-worthy insight. Birgitta and I have both enjoyed it, and I know our little one will get a kick out of it someday, too. God was probably the one prompting you to write it so we’d all know how keenly he’s been involved in this “surprise” pregnancy.
My 7th grandchild may grow up to ask some tough questions that are difficult to answer, but comments like the one above will bring light-heartedness into what might have been a stressful conversation. Birgitta has already begun preparing for these questions by keeping a scrapbook of encouraging comments and messages sent our way. And if this child should ever ask, “Did you really want me, Mommy?” Birgitta will be ready with her “yes!” backed up by the “yeses” of many others.
And then she can give her child the best news of all by saying, “There’s also one who wanted you even more than all the rest of us, and it’s God himself.”
“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” (Ephesians 1:4)
Hi Margaret and Birgitta-
Thanks for sharing your lives with us. I was listening to this song today and it made me think of you- I think it captures perfectly what God is already doing in your hearts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqjivEw7gzE&feature=related. We are praying for you.
Our plan vs. God planned-
We were married barely a year when at the age of 19, I became pregnant with our daughter (while using birth control (my control plan) and missed a few times). She was born 3 weeks before I turned 20. I was very scared of all the ramifications of pregnancy and motherhood and felt very unprepared (who is, really?). When our daughter was 13 months old, I became pregnant with our son and he arrived when our daughter was 22 months old. Even though we had planned on having children a few years later after we married, we are glad that our heavenly Father had a better plan for us, despite our fears (which would have kept me waiting until I felt ready) and lack of financial provision (which God provided for every need of those babies). Instead of calling our children “accidents” to our plan, we have always seen them as “God planned gifts” to us. I learned alot about myself during those child rearing years, which also brought me closer to the Lord (for I depended on His triune being more desperately). For a child to grow up hearing that they were “God planned” gives them more sense of purpose on this earth instead of feeling like they were an accident that got in the way of other people’s lives. When we can fully receive God’s love for us, then we are more able to trust His plans for us and love/accept ourselves the way He sees us.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:10-12
I have told my children that God planned them. He called them into being and used the best of both parents to make them what He wanted them to be. Then He put them in our home to love and raise for Him. Nothing is out of His control even when it is out of our control. Many, many joys yet to come for your beautiful daughter and her baby!!!love & blessings
Hi Margaret,
God has not determined that this blog will necessarily speak to the ordinary things of life, though you have wonderfully taken normal and daily occurrences and showed the Lord in them. It has shifted from death to life, even life unplanned this side of eternity. Great idea for Birgitta to collect encouragements and insights in anticipation of tough questions down the road.
This blog is a great place for heavenly perspective.
Love,
Terry
I love the look on Baby Birgitta’s face – as if she was in on a joke. It reminds me of my son’s comment recently when he and his wife found out #4 was on the way and will be born 15 months after #3 – ‘If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.’ On the other hand, our daughter and her husband are enjoying two foster children that they hope to adopt – from a mother who, although shows no capability of being a parent, was part of God’s plan to put precious children into a Godly home. Isn’t He creative?
I fled my home when my children were 2yrs and not even 1yr. As I raised them alone I was asked many hard questions that most parents would never hear. As my toddlers were being tucked into bed at night I would brace myself for those questions. I still cry when I think of some of those inquiries. My prayer then was for wisdom in giving an honest loving answer that was age appropriate and gave them confidence in the Lord. That is still my prayer in these difficult teen years. God will give Birgitta everything she needs to impart truth and guidance at the time it is needed.
No child born into this world is ever…a mistake.!! Jer. 29:11 says it all..from the mouth of God, himself. Our lives are truly, a result of our choices we make, obedience to the Father’s Word, resulting in blessings….disobedience – consequences we live with. I see ‘unplanned babies’ as ‘consequential blessings’ in disguise. To teach us responsibility, discernment, control over our bodies, and loving obedience to God’s Word….by His Holy Spirit….whom He sent to help us.
Brigitta’s life will never be the same, from this day forward…and the responsibility of another’s life, will be an educaton all of it’s own. I thought the phto of the baby in her womb looked like it was praising God…arms raised over the head.